9 to 5: The Musical - Toronto Centre for the Arts

I have sat through a lot of terrible musicals. South Pacific, The Color Purple, Cats.  This misadventure ranks up there with the best of these.
I bought tickets to this show as all the gays love Dolly. She can sing, she has charisma and huge tits. What's not to love?
I found out as I and a half full theatre trekked all the way to North York for a night of the shows 10 day run. The lights went down and an audience of gays and old ladies settled in for a blast from the past. The show takes place in 1979, a time when women's lib was building to a crescendo. A time when all men were sexist pigs and all women hard done by. We're transported there inside the mind of Dolly Parton, who has a weird child-like view of the world. The show is all about girl power but not true girl power the women find themselves.  The power they get is from behaving like the men, using tactics on them like they used on the women.
The plot involves a group of secretaries who are unhappy with their boss and their jobs. They then poison their boss, hold him at gunpoint, tie him up, kidnap and blackmail him. Seriously. Girl power, right?!?!
This is the end of act one and during the break I tried to guess how many references the play had to castration. MANY. Too many to count. Also too many to count was inside references to the future. For example "Why is there an apple beside your typewriter? You can't type with a Mac apple silly!" Cue hilarious peels of laughter.
The cast was fairly good but too small. During the all male dance number for example I noticed about half the men had breasts. The standout was Mamie Parris (what kind of name is that?!?) as the lead Judy. She can act and sing and could step on to any Broadway stage tomorrow. The draw was Diana DeGarmo from American Idol. Her singing surprised me, she was excellent. The acting was not good though that could be due to the direction. Rather than play the character she played Dolly Parton playing a character and something got lost in the translation. Same with Dee Hoty as Lilly Tomlin as the character, it didn't work.
A distraction from life but not worth a trek north on the subway, or really across the street.

Pride

In honour of Pride I present this photo from the new issue of Fab magazine.  This model I think has the best bum on planet earth.

Street Photography 1

Fringe Festival 2011

I have narrowed down my picks to nine plays, meaning one $70 pass will cover me for the whole festival.

Thurs, July 7
8:30 PM - La Duchesse de Langeais, The Central, 603 Markham St (Bloor west of Bathurst)
In a new interpretation of “La Duchesse de Langeais”, Apuka Theatre moves Michel Tremblay’s ageing, heartbroken drag queen, from the beaches of a southern resort, to a busy Toronto bar and takes a closer look at the man behind the pomp and makeup.

Fri, July 8
5:45 PM – Mickey & Judy, Tarragon Theatre, St Clair to Bathurst then south
This hilarious, pseudo-memoir, chronicles Hughes’ childhood obsession with musicals and his journey from psychiatric ward to Off-Broadway.
Chock-full of comical anecdotes, showtunes and the Judy Garland songbook, this 55 minute songfest is perfect for anyone who has ever wished they could live inside a musical or wanted to change their surname to Von Trapp.

Sat, July 9
3:30 PM – Radioactive Drag Queens from the Year 3000, Factory Theatre, Bathurst s of Queen
They’ve come from the future with an important warning... and hairspray.
Lots of hairspray.
So. Much. Hairspray.

Sun, July 10
Noon – Operation Impervious, Robert Gill Theatre, 214 College St. (at St. George), 3rd floor
Randall and Martin are two celebrity-obsessed roommates who set out to prove that the world’s most famous movie star is gay. At the same time that they infiltrate a celebrity-run religious cult, Randall’s boyfriend comes back after having been thought lost on a deserted island; coincidence? We think not!

5:45 - Keep Tightly Closed In A Cool Dry Place, Theatre Passe Muraille (Queen & Bathurst)
Serio-comic fantasies soar as three men in prison fight their lustful attractions. They grapple with guilt over a murder they committed; they bully and betray one another, exposing at every twist the violent snakes that snap and bite them in ways both painful and immeasurably full of pleasure. They are Gods and Devils, living in a jail cell.

Mon, July 11
7:00 PM - Holy Tranity! Robert Gill Theatre, 214 College St. (at St. George), 3rd floor
Gracie, Santos & Michael are looking for love in all the wrong places. Santos, a young gay teen hopes to ride his good looks to fame and fortune. Gracie’s a lady in waiting, and Michael lives the life of God’s chosen warrior. Three lives intersect in a funny and twisted tale of love, sex and unlikely friendships.

Tues, July 12
8:30 PM – Saved, Factory Theatre, Bathurst s of Queen
SAVED is a disturbingly violent and shockingly funny look at lower class British youth desensitized to sex and violence. Set at the height of rave culture and the cusp of our current era, amidst our media influenced society, this retelling of Bond’s modern classic reveals the timelessness and universality of the play that abolished censorship in England.

Thurs, July 14
7:30 PM – Living With Henry, George Ignatieff Theatre, St George Stn, Bedford Rd exit
A new musical drama that explores the fear, complications and realities of living with HIV/AIDS in our society today. The narrative revolves around Michael - a gay man who comes to realize the pain of “dis-ease” and is forced to overcome seemingly insurmountable challenges to gain a much deeper understanding of self and the complex world around him.

Fri, July 15
7:00 PM – The Tiki Bikini Beach Paradise Party A-Go-Go, Tarragon Theatre, St Clair to Bathurst then south
A loving, comical celebration of the Beach Party films of the 60’s. Freddie, Jeannette, and their beach pals plan to celebrate the final weeks of summer vacation by throwing an outta sight beach party on Bikini Beach! Featuring a live band and new music by Jeffery Straker & Allison Beula with a cast of whacked out go-go gals and guys. It’ll be Tiki-Tastic!

Glee Live!

Pre-concert dinner at Marché.

Sam (Chord Overstreet) had cut his hair and looked much better.

 Kurt, why was he wairing paisley?  No one can pull that off.

 Hottie Mike Chang rocking the Michael Jackson dance moves.

 They were selling these shirts.  The brand name was "Island Sun" and when you held them up to the light you could see right through them they were so cheap.  White cotton, $40.

 This is one of the few shots I could get of Darrin Criss, he didn't sit still for the 1/80th of a second for my camera to work, all the rest of his shots are blurs.  He was great, the life of the concert.

The End of Doctor Who

During the height of the David Tennant years I was a regular Who-freak.  I bought the action figures and the collectables and devoured every episode of Doctor Who like it was the last.  The show was great with big budget special effects, interesting story lines, a gay sometimes sidekick and a perfect blend of camp and seriousness that made the show unmissable.

I didn't care for the first revamped Doctor, Christopher Eccleston, as I felt the characted was too dark.  Similar to the first Batman movie, Michael Keaton was serviceable but he wasn't the main draw.  When David Tennant first started everything changed.  Similar to when Val Kilmer first took over the role of Batman and at the end of the movie Batman Forever everyone couldn't wait for the next one.

David Tennant was not afraid to go there, and similar to Zack Morris in Saved by the Bell, he made you want to come along for the ride.  The stories could be complex, the villans were great, and while you felt the Doctor's fear at the Daleks and the Master, you also loved it when he laughed.

Fast forward to the recent season premiere of the Matt Smith led series.  The series had been going downhill since Matt Smith got involved and the new season has been waiting on my recorder for quite a while waiting to be watched, not usually the best sign of quality.

The double-episode season opener concerns a plot involving a race called The Silence and the rest of what happens is anyone's guess.  I did watch both episodes but the story was so convoluted with characters dying and then reappearing, Richard Nixon, and the ever annoying wife plot with River Song who should just die already, I defy anyone to watch it and discuss what happened. It was too confusing. 

At one point in the episode the Doctor makes his sidekick swear on something important to know she's not lying and she says "I swear on fish fingers and custard."  A hack inside joke played for laughs from three year old boys, there's no emotional depth to the series anymore, few light-hearted moments with any real levity, and the entire show has become unwatchable.

At the end of the episode they showed a preview of episode three, a Pirates of the Carribean themed plot wherein the Doctor actually dresses up like a Pirate.  Is there really no limit to how far they'll go to ruin this character?  Would you see Tom Baker dressing like a pirate and swinging on a rope???  No!

I remember wondering why the show ever went off the air with the level of quality scripts they were producing.  That question has now been answered and I seriously doubt the show will be on the air past this season.

The show is now unwatachable and Doctor I bid you adieu.

National "Kick Adam In the Nuts" Day

Well today is apparently national "kick Adam in the nuts" day. I wish I had of known; I would have dressed for the occasion.

I went to my doctor who has disappeared for some reason. 6 weeks ago he didn't show up to work, his diploma is still on the wall, all his stuff is there, but no doctor. So I saw his replacement (temporary??) who said I can't eat three hours before bed or I could have the food come back up when I lie down and choke to death on my own vomit.

He also said I needed to lose weight and that people start developing lung cancer around 45 so I have ten years to quit smoking or die.

We laughed, and laughed.