"It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough".
"It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, 'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.' By then, pigs will be your style".
"Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level".
"I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum"
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Lady Gaga is the new Jesus
I am in love with Lady Gaga. She is the new Jesus. I am going to her show in 2 weeks and I need it to be today. This video for "Bad Romance" is the best video I've ever seen. Who cares if she can't see, she looks amazing. Seeing is over rated.
For the concert I have a bright purple shirt and a matching purple striped tie. I also have a purple tiara to wear but I'm trying to find a ridiculous hat instead. We'll see. I'll be posting photos. My co-worker Sarah is wearing green pants, a white tank and a yellow faux fur skull cap with green makeup. We'll be awesome.
I haven't been posting lately as I have an infection of the esophagus and my day involves not eating until I get home, then eating as I'm starving and lying down in pain for the rest of the night unable to move. I haven't eaten yet so I'm still upright for now.
I see a lot of people buying poppies for Remembrance Day. Back when the first World War and the second World War started there were mass protests in the street, people saying that we shouldn't send our children to fight for a country we no longer live in. People objecting to taking the poor and the underskilled and using them as the front line of defense like they were targets. I would have been one of those people. I marched down the streets in February when the US threatened to invade Iraq. I don't believe in war. As such, I will never wear a poppy.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Post hoc ergo propter hoc
Fantastic editorial by Matt Mills in today's paper.
On Oct 25, 1,000 people or more marched silently from Church and Wellesley Sts to the spot where, on Oct 18, Chris Skinner was horribly murdered.
It was a beautiful and elegant celebration of his life and protest of the ghastly way he died. In the mainstream press, accounts of the on-going investigation into his murder now focus on the idea, put forward by Toronto police early on, that the attack may have been precipitated after Skinner “intentionally or unintentionally” came in contact with the SUV that ran him down seconds later. (See story page seven and go to Xtra.ca for more details and to see the video for yourself).
Skinner hit the SUV immediately prior to the attack, is the implication whispered by police and shouted by the mainstream press, he was therefore beaten to the ground and crushed to death in retaliation. He at least partly brought it on himself. If he hadn’t hit the SUV, he might not be dead. What nonsense.
Police say the final piece of CCTV video they released documents the near miss between Skinner and the SUV. They say they have an eyewitness whose story adds credibility to that scenario. But although there’s not too much to see in the video, I’ve watched it again and again and I can’t see anything to suggest Skinner came in contact with or dodged the SUV.
In the video he doesn’t flinch or flail. His head doesn’t spin around in the direction of the departing SUV. He certainly doesn’t take off in retreat or pursuit. When, after a long pause, he walks slowly out of frame, he clearly has his head down, engrossed by his cellular device or merely his own feet, not up glowering at the backside of the SUV about to grind him under its wheels.
Let’s be clear: Police seem to be taking this investigation seriously and, with the obvious exception of there being at press time no arrest, are handling it well. At press conferences lead investigator det Stacey Gallant seems genuinely angry that someone deliberately chose to run Skinner down.
Gallant’s suggestion that there may be a traffic dispute element to the motive in this crime may be calculated to keep people from jumping to erroneous and early conclusions, but it doesn’t necessarily imply that homophobia wasn’t a factor in the attack, nor does Gallant’s suggestion that there is no evidence that Skinner was targeted only because he was gay.
All discussion of motive in this case is speculation at this stage. Assigning motive requires insight into the heart and mind of the bastard driving the SUV that ran Skinner down, and so far we don’t even know who he is.
But since we’re all speculating, I have another theory.
I didn’t know Skinner but by all accounts he looked gay, acted gay and sounded gay. He was fey. It’s possible the attack against him unfolded without a single homophobic epithet being flung. But even in that case it’s possible, even likely, that Skinner’s attackers decided to kill him, or precluded mercy, after one look at him and just a few words from his lips.
Had he spoken with the clipped cadence of a professional hockey player, had he been wearing a Leafs jersey or a baseball hat that night, would the outcome have been different?
I don’t know the answer to that question any more than I know whether they called him a faggot before they killed him.
What I do know is that Skinner, a gay man, was horribly murdered in his own city just blocks from home. His is yet another in a very long list of stories about gay and lesbian people violently killed or injured under mysterious circumstances.
That alone is more than enough to raise a crowd to the corner of Church and Wellesley.
On Oct 25, 1,000 people or more marched silently from Church and Wellesley Sts to the spot where, on Oct 18, Chris Skinner was horribly murdered.
It was a beautiful and elegant celebration of his life and protest of the ghastly way he died. In the mainstream press, accounts of the on-going investigation into his murder now focus on the idea, put forward by Toronto police early on, that the attack may have been precipitated after Skinner “intentionally or unintentionally” came in contact with the SUV that ran him down seconds later. (See story page seven and go to Xtra.ca for more details and to see the video for yourself).
Skinner hit the SUV immediately prior to the attack, is the implication whispered by police and shouted by the mainstream press, he was therefore beaten to the ground and crushed to death in retaliation. He at least partly brought it on himself. If he hadn’t hit the SUV, he might not be dead. What nonsense.
Police say the final piece of CCTV video they released documents the near miss between Skinner and the SUV. They say they have an eyewitness whose story adds credibility to that scenario. But although there’s not too much to see in the video, I’ve watched it again and again and I can’t see anything to suggest Skinner came in contact with or dodged the SUV.
In the video he doesn’t flinch or flail. His head doesn’t spin around in the direction of the departing SUV. He certainly doesn’t take off in retreat or pursuit. When, after a long pause, he walks slowly out of frame, he clearly has his head down, engrossed by his cellular device or merely his own feet, not up glowering at the backside of the SUV about to grind him under its wheels.
Let’s be clear: Police seem to be taking this investigation seriously and, with the obvious exception of there being at press time no arrest, are handling it well. At press conferences lead investigator det Stacey Gallant seems genuinely angry that someone deliberately chose to run Skinner down.
Gallant’s suggestion that there may be a traffic dispute element to the motive in this crime may be calculated to keep people from jumping to erroneous and early conclusions, but it doesn’t necessarily imply that homophobia wasn’t a factor in the attack, nor does Gallant’s suggestion that there is no evidence that Skinner was targeted only because he was gay.
All discussion of motive in this case is speculation at this stage. Assigning motive requires insight into the heart and mind of the bastard driving the SUV that ran Skinner down, and so far we don’t even know who he is.
But since we’re all speculating, I have another theory.
I didn’t know Skinner but by all accounts he looked gay, acted gay and sounded gay. He was fey. It’s possible the attack against him unfolded without a single homophobic epithet being flung. But even in that case it’s possible, even likely, that Skinner’s attackers decided to kill him, or precluded mercy, after one look at him and just a few words from his lips.
Had he spoken with the clipped cadence of a professional hockey player, had he been wearing a Leafs jersey or a baseball hat that night, would the outcome have been different?
I don’t know the answer to that question any more than I know whether they called him a faggot before they killed him.
What I do know is that Skinner, a gay man, was horribly murdered in his own city just blocks from home. His is yet another in a very long list of stories about gay and lesbian people violently killed or injured under mysterious circumstances.
That alone is more than enough to raise a crowd to the corner of Church and Wellesley.
Monday, October 26, 2009
New Video - Skinner murder
More on the situation here.
Click the link, the reporting is excellent.
It looks like he was trying to get a taxi, these guys drove by and yelled "FAG!" like idiots do. They stopped at a red light, the guys got out, beat him up and ran him over.
Chilling.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Story
Editorial from Xtra.ca editor Matt Mills:
David Dewees had been a popular high-school teacher at Jarvis Collegiate Institute near Toronto’s Church and Wellesley neighbourhood since 2003. In the summers he worked as a counsellor at Ontario Pioneer Camp near Port Sydney.
Clearly he liked working with young people and until recently had a clean record as an educator and camp counsellor.
Police allege that he met two young guys at camp, 15 and 16. He supposedly kept in touch with the youngsters over the net until police say he had “inappropriate” online contact with them.
He was charged on Oct 1 with two counts of invitation to sexual touching and two counts of luring. That same day the Toronto Star erroneously reported that he had been charged with sexual assault against two 13-year-olds. In fact there’s no evidence or accusation that Dewees assaulted anyone. The Star somehow jumped to that conclusion.
Dewees was arraigned and released on $25,000 bail on Oct 2. On Oct 3 he calmly lay on the subway tracks at High Park station where he was killed by a train. He killed himself.
This story is highly engaging. There is conflict, shocking surprise, sexual scandal and a bloody end. It’s stranger than fiction, starts innocently and ends tragically. There are mysteries that may never be solved. It’s an easy hit. Don’t let anyone in media, no matter how seriously they purport to take journalistic integrity, tell you different.
Media clearly have a responsibility to tell stories like Dewees’ but the other edge of the sword is that media and its consumers — people — latch onto potentially sensational elements regardless of what is right or true. It is precisely the phenomenon that makes us gawk at car accidents.
Imagination plays a much larger role in stories like Dewees’ than do the scant available facts.
With only the knowledge that a teacher and camp counsellor was facing sex charges, people imagined what Dewees must of have done. They imagined what was going through his mind as he befriended these young guys. They filled in blanks with their own fictions, fictions written in the ink of personal experience, desire and fear.
Virtually everyone jumped to the conclusions that Dewees killed himself out of guilt: guilt for getting too close to his charges, guilt for getting caught, guilt for embarrassing his family and guilt for being exposed as having same-sex attractions (Dewees was not, by accounts reported to Xtra, openly gay).
At 15 I could tell when older men and women were hitting on me or otherwise interested in my sexuality. I never had any trouble ending conversations I didn’t want to have or pushing away suitors I didn’t want to know. I suspect the two young guys at the centre of the accusations against Dewees are similarly astute and will survive undamaged by whatever messages Dewees sent them online. Obviously these young guys bear no blame for Dewees’ death but this must be an extremely difficult situation for them.
One reality is that we simply don’t, and likely never will, know the whole truth. And we likely won’t know how the two young guys in this story feel about Dewees’ suicide.
Another reality is that we live in a society — we have created a society — in which Dewees, who was accused only of “inappropriate” web chatter with a couple of teenagers, was subjected to a media storm that painted him as a sexual pervert and child predator. As the story unfolded publicly, with all its fiction, innuendo and assumption, he chose to kill himself.
That is at least as telling a comment on how we as a nation approach human sexuality as it is on whatever choices Dewees made in his short life.
To give some context, this photo below is of Taylor Lautner from the new Twilight movie. In fact he's on the cover of the new People magazine where they talk about what a "hottie" he is and how "buff". He's 17, one year older than the 16 year old boy mentioned in this story.
More on the story.
I can't comment on the Toronto Star article without throwing my computer through the window.
David Dewees had been a popular high-school teacher at Jarvis Collegiate Institute near Toronto’s Church and Wellesley neighbourhood since 2003. In the summers he worked as a counsellor at Ontario Pioneer Camp near Port Sydney.
Clearly he liked working with young people and until recently had a clean record as an educator and camp counsellor.
Police allege that he met two young guys at camp, 15 and 16. He supposedly kept in touch with the youngsters over the net until police say he had “inappropriate” online contact with them.
He was charged on Oct 1 with two counts of invitation to sexual touching and two counts of luring. That same day the Toronto Star erroneously reported that he had been charged with sexual assault against two 13-year-olds. In fact there’s no evidence or accusation that Dewees assaulted anyone. The Star somehow jumped to that conclusion.
Dewees was arraigned and released on $25,000 bail on Oct 2. On Oct 3 he calmly lay on the subway tracks at High Park station where he was killed by a train. He killed himself.
This story is highly engaging. There is conflict, shocking surprise, sexual scandal and a bloody end. It’s stranger than fiction, starts innocently and ends tragically. There are mysteries that may never be solved. It’s an easy hit. Don’t let anyone in media, no matter how seriously they purport to take journalistic integrity, tell you different.
Media clearly have a responsibility to tell stories like Dewees’ but the other edge of the sword is that media and its consumers — people — latch onto potentially sensational elements regardless of what is right or true. It is precisely the phenomenon that makes us gawk at car accidents.
Imagination plays a much larger role in stories like Dewees’ than do the scant available facts.
With only the knowledge that a teacher and camp counsellor was facing sex charges, people imagined what Dewees must of have done. They imagined what was going through his mind as he befriended these young guys. They filled in blanks with their own fictions, fictions written in the ink of personal experience, desire and fear.
Virtually everyone jumped to the conclusions that Dewees killed himself out of guilt: guilt for getting too close to his charges, guilt for getting caught, guilt for embarrassing his family and guilt for being exposed as having same-sex attractions (Dewees was not, by accounts reported to Xtra, openly gay).
At 15 I could tell when older men and women were hitting on me or otherwise interested in my sexuality. I never had any trouble ending conversations I didn’t want to have or pushing away suitors I didn’t want to know. I suspect the two young guys at the centre of the accusations against Dewees are similarly astute and will survive undamaged by whatever messages Dewees sent them online. Obviously these young guys bear no blame for Dewees’ death but this must be an extremely difficult situation for them.
One reality is that we simply don’t, and likely never will, know the whole truth. And we likely won’t know how the two young guys in this story feel about Dewees’ suicide.
Another reality is that we live in a society — we have created a society — in which Dewees, who was accused only of “inappropriate” web chatter with a couple of teenagers, was subjected to a media storm that painted him as a sexual pervert and child predator. As the story unfolded publicly, with all its fiction, innuendo and assumption, he chose to kill himself.
That is at least as telling a comment on how we as a nation approach human sexuality as it is on whatever choices Dewees made in his short life.
To give some context, this photo below is of Taylor Lautner from the new Twilight movie. In fact he's on the cover of the new People magazine where they talk about what a "hottie" he is and how "buff". He's 17, one year older than the 16 year old boy mentioned in this story.
More on the story.
I can't comment on the Toronto Star article without throwing my computer through the window.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Nuit Blanche 2009
Went to Nuit Blanche for the first time this year. I will probably go again but the long lines and inconsistent presentations were a turn off.
I went with my dad, his partner Linda, my co-worker Sarah and her friend Ashley.
Here's Ashley with some severed heads:
And Sarah with some oragami:
The best part of the night was probably "Le Grand Peep Show" in the stables of Casa Loma. All night long I kept repeating the MC's call "Usually, $30 per peep!"
The idea is you peep in the holes and the people stare back at you. Sarah was creeped out by the people staring at her but I spent the time trying to flirt with the guy using only my eyeball. For some reason I thought it was working....
Here's the virgin Mary hatching an egg:
Sarah and I infront of some art:
The artist hung the plastic sheets in the forest and then drew trees on them.
Then we went over to Liberty Village and had Fire and Sausages. The sausage was REALLY good but the hot chocolate, I just got the bottom of my dad's cup and it was really bitter and mine had a huge chunk of cocao in it which was not appealing.
There was a chalk wall:
Which I later leaned against and got my jacket and bag dirty.
Then off to see 2 cranes dancing for 15 minutes to music.
It got old fast.
And saw the 4 letter word machine at city hall:
I went with my dad, his partner Linda, my co-worker Sarah and her friend Ashley.
Here's Ashley with some severed heads:
And Sarah with some oragami:
The best part of the night was probably "Le Grand Peep Show" in the stables of Casa Loma. All night long I kept repeating the MC's call "Usually, $30 per peep!"
The idea is you peep in the holes and the people stare back at you. Sarah was creeped out by the people staring at her but I spent the time trying to flirt with the guy using only my eyeball. For some reason I thought it was working....
Here's the virgin Mary hatching an egg:
Sarah and I infront of some art:
The artist hung the plastic sheets in the forest and then drew trees on them.
Next was an art installation called "Things Fall Apart". This was mostly crap but I did like the melting Ronald McDonalds quite a lot.
Then we went over to Liberty Village and had Fire and Sausages. The sausage was REALLY good but the hot chocolate, I just got the bottom of my dad's cup and it was really bitter and mine had a huge chunk of cocao in it which was not appealing.
There was a chalk wall:
Which I later leaned against and got my jacket and bag dirty.
Then off to see 2 cranes dancing for 15 minutes to music.
It got old fast.
Finally a stop at the apology project:
Where people with paper bags on their heads said "I'm so sorry" as you walked past them like someone died.
Back to my place for a quick rest and then off to see downtown. By this time it was like 12:30 and I was feeling pretty tired and the lines did little to stop that feeling.
This rabbit was kind of cool inside the Eaton Centre:
And saw the 4 letter word machine at city hall:
At one point people were trying to put the words together and they came up with the sentence "Obey them, Chip."
I came up with this story in my head where the world was being taken over my aliens and this son was being led away from his father by the awful alien. The son screamed "Dad, help!" and the father says "Obey them, Chip..." and then under his breath "...for now."
Everything else downtown was too long a line for how tired I was and I got home about 2:30.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Missed Connections
Sophie Blackall, a Brooklyn-based artist, illustrates Craigslist 'Missed Connections' ads.
Sunday, April 26, 2009– m4w – 24
You wore an awesome color changing dress to the BBQ on Skillman Ave in Williamsburg, but someone spilled wine on it.You left too quickly...I'd like to see you again.
Saturday, September 5, 2009- m4m - 29 (astoria)
we were both swimming around 5-6 in astoria pool. we ended up walking the same direction in the park for a while but didn't talk. i wish i had said hi...so i figured i would on here.worth a shot.
Sunday, April 26, 2009– m4w – 24
You wore an awesome color changing dress to the BBQ on Skillman Ave in Williamsburg, but someone spilled wine on it.You left too quickly...I'd like to see you again.
Saturday, September 5, 2009- m4m - 29 (astoria)
we were both swimming around 5-6 in astoria pool. we ended up walking the same direction in the park for a while but didn't talk. i wish i had said hi...so i figured i would on here.worth a shot.
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