Saturday, May 23, 2009

Hotel Reviews

I really love to read bad hotel reviews, like the one I just read about a hotel in New York City where the roof blew off and "people were running for their lives".

The best hotel reviews I've found are from Detroit.

Like the Viking Motel:
"When we pulled up i wanted to puke, it looks like a crack house.
Run for your life from this place. Within 5 min we were solicited for prostitution and cocaine by a hotel worker."

Or the Comfort Inn:
"Blood on the bedding..."

"The door on the first room I was given was damaged from being kicked in and would not stay closed."
"we have stayed in $30 hotels that looked like the shangri la compared to this!!!!!!!!!"

The Corktown Inn:
"Charged my card for two extra nights, when we weren't there. An attempted break in of our room at 4am. Phones didn't work to call for help. Trapped inside while lunatic banged on the door for an hour...."
"The woman (I use the term loosely) who met us at the desk behind bulletproof glass after we had to get buzzed in at 2 am had no idea that we had a reservation. The guy behind us in line was checking in with a wad of condoms and told us he was about to "get nasty.""

The Leland:
"In the less than 2 hours we were gone, our room was robbed of everything we had in it, from empty beer cans to 3 digital cameras and iPods. The hotel refuses to help me in any way and they originally told me that we had "robbed ourselves" in order to get paid."
"we had been out all day at the festival. When we came back we found the main entrance blocked off and a hazmat crew was there. Someone had been stabbed right in front of the doors to the hotel and there was a huge puddle of blood on the ground."
"Lovely view:

"State of the art heating:

"it hasn't been redecorated since FDR was president."
"I suppose we could have gone to the industrial Goth club in the basement of the Leland, but we did not pack out Pleather and artificial fangs."
"a TV that only got one channel and no way to adjust the volume (no remote)"
"There were no towels in the bathroom, that was because they were on the floor next to the bed, used. When we asked for more towels, the attendant said we already had them and that there wouldn't be enough for the rest of the 'guests'. The toilet paper was soaked with some mysterious orange liquid."
"one towel in the bathroom for 4 adults when we asked for more the desk clerk said "we'll see"."
"this is not a good hotel for families with small children because they might need phsycological help when they get home and also not a good choice for fans of teams other than Detroit to stay either, because you'll probablly get mugged or killed."
"Even if you are curious DO NOT go into the club because there is a chance you will run into the devil himself."
"Thank god we had bought the boys 2 mini baseball bats at the game, we might have had to use them."
"At about 12:00 at night, we heard a woman in the room next to us screaming and yelling for her life. We assume she was being raped but we will never know. We barcaded the door and got whatever items in the room we could find to use for weapons in case he was coming to our room next."
"The first person we saw looked like an inbred on crack cocaine. The second lot were a husband and wife team who were looking for a tasty treat out of the rubbish bin."
"The elevator doors slammed my brothers wheelchair, nearly decapitating him upon going up to our rooms."
" I beg of anyone reading this to tell friends, relatives, and even enemies to stay clear of this dump."
"Every person we spoke to in elevators was there for the sex show/rave taking place in the hotel ballroom"
"a Detroit policeman asked me where I was going. He said that I must be one crazy lady to be walking in that area and staying in that place! I told myself, "Legs don't fail me now!""
"The closet door was completely off the hinges, and there was a fresh stain 2 foot square on the floor. I shudder to think what it could have been."
"The facilities looked like an old warehouse, I drove past it twice thinking it was an abandoned building."
"Someone supposedly got stabbed on the roof while we were there and my friend rich got put in detention by hotel security but luckily they let him go after a few questions"

"It is about a five minute walk between the hotel & Comerica Park but you will probably find yourself running instead of walking."
"Our room was a couple of doors down from an ice machine that would make a rock concert seem like a library."

I think I know my next vacation destination!

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