You know how you read in the papers the signs of depression? I have that. It feels like a clinical thing, rather than there being anything wrong in my life. I want to sleep a lot, I don't want to do anything, when people come up to talk to me at work or on the street it's all I can do not to run away, I have anxiety attacks lying in bed alone going to sleep, I sleep for 15 hours straight. Ugh.
It's mainly coming across as a fight to not just lie in bed with the lights off all the time. Saturday I slept from 2 am to 9 pm on Sunday and then Sunday I slept from 1 to 10 and then Monday I slept from 6 pm to 8 am.
I am on medication for this kind of thing and had reduced it but now think I need to go back to the old, stronger dose. Increasing the dose means I go through a period where I'm a zombie and feel nothing but I get back to normal in about a week.
Perhaps this is too personal to blog about? But no one really talks about this stuff, so maybe talking is a good thing?
Very poor. My air conditioner stopped working about midnight last night, hopefully a day of rest will make it better as I can't afford to have it fixed. Going to a wedding in 2 weeks and need a new dress shirt, and just realized last night I have to bring a gift. Am thinking $100 in an envelope sounds good. I still haven't paid my hotel bill from Ottawa from the start of June, need to do that soon. No trips right now. Cruise is already paid for though!
Ok, after all that rambling, I went to see Bare three times in Toronto and loved it.
After Thursday night's show I got the main members of the cast to sign this:
And got to meet some of them. This fellow, Graham, was the dreamiest and everyone wanted him. I think when he put his arm around me I lost all sense of time and space. What was surprising to me was he was so nice and cool.
Everyone else was really nice and cool too.
Oh, and how the Hell did I get to a point where I weigh this much?
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