Monday, March 10, 2008


How do you feel good when you feel bad? How can you end the frustration you feel building? How can you sit in a corner and say nothing all day and come home and do the same thing to no one, the same nothing. When is the last straw? Is this it? Is this?
Where does the happiness come from? Is it inside? Is it outside? Is it other people or is it all my interaction to them? Is it all me?
Don' have cream in your coffee, don't have sugar in your coffee, don't have coffee. Don't smoke, don't drink, don't talk, don't think. Be beaten down for another month than it will be permanent. Throw up from stress and tension, come to my party at eleven. You didn't come and you don't drink. They are our friends, no longer your friends and people grow apart.
The space is so small, make it smaller, add more stuff, change your house, change you mind, change your words, the one constant: change. Change.
Don't eat that, you're fat. Don't look at porn you're addicted to that. Don't look outside for affection, who has ten boyfriends anyway? Your need to show off is causing all your anxiety, see a doctor, see the mirror, wear better clothes. Don't wear makeup, you're not a girl. Buy better chicken and multi grain roles. Don't wear that shirt, it's full of holes.
I'd hate to see your apartment. You think this is fun? Which is the last straw? This one? Or this one?

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