Monday, March 31, 2008

Community Service

So like any good gay I service the community. I've been working like 7 days a week selling stuff on ebay for the Archives, and I came across this cool joke book, here's some samples.

What's in the air in San Francisco that prevents women from getting pregnant?
- Men's legs.

What did a blind lesbian say when she passed the seafood market?
- "Hi girls."

Brilliant, eh? It's kind of a pain in the ass but I've raised about $500 in a week and a half. And as payment if I occasionally fall in love with a book I can keep it. Or if they have 500 copies of the same title.
I need an assistant to help me. He should be about 35 tall, dark and handsome, or about 17 and dumb. Either way.

The best news is I GOT FUCKING 19TH ROW CENTRE FOR GEORGE MICHAEL!!!! I am so happy I think I burst. Or maybe that was my eardrums from the Ottawa flight.

Ottawa: Day 3 and 4

Well I didn't blog yesterday as I did my weekly sleep and got up about 2 pm. Before I continue, I did find this cool print at the National Gallery:

So I decided to go to the Currency Museum on Saturday as it was free and close. Along the way I saw this statue of Terry Fox:

So the currency museum was actually really good. They had this money from the Bank of Toronto before Canada had centralized money:

and this wall of current bills:

Plus a cool section on counterfeiting.
I then walked around the Bytown Market and bought some cheese and bread. That's one thing that was great about Ottawa, I guess its the Quebec influence as there are loads of bakeries everywhere.
Today I got up earlier and went to the Museum of Civilization. The coolest thing was the Postal Museum which had this game that I so want:

and a gallery of famous Canadians which featured this saying:

Then off to the Museum of Nature which was undergoing major renovations. They had a lot of fossils, like this giant fish:

and a collection of every native bird of Canada stuffed. Here's a turkey, he's saying "Don't eat me!":

Finally to the Ottawa airport where it looked like there was some construction going on:

All in all a good trip and I'm glad I went, but now I don't have to go back for another 20 years. I thought I was going to throw up on the flight on the way home. Little airplanes and me = bad.
George Michael is onsale tomorrow at 10 a.m. I only have $500 for 2 tickets so I'll see what I can get!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Ottawa: Day Two

Being gay sometimes sucks.
When I went to the National Gallery yesterday there was no gay art. All the couples were men/women. Who is keeping our history? I'm guessing largely the trash can.
Then yesterday I read the Ottawa version of Xtra magazine. The Toronto one is about 80 pages, the Ottawa one is 16 pages. There was an editorial where there were saying how people were defacing their newspaper boxes, writing "AIDS fags leave Gatineau" etc. And setting the boxes on fire. They are also campaigning to make Bank Street the official gay district. I went there today, its two stores, good luck with that.
Then I went into Chapters in the Rideau Centre. So I'm looking for the gay book section. Is it in Lifestyle? No that's all health and fitness. Current events? No. By sexuality? No. In with the arts? No. I finally gave up. I usually ask but sometimes its just too much. I exist, eh!
I found this book at the gay book store:

It's a gay version of choose your own adventure.
So after my course was over I walked over to see the War Monument:

and the Rideau Hotel:

and Parliament:

Which was of course closed and had no times or dates to come back. Helpful.
There was some cool statues, like this one for the women's movement:

And this bell:

Which fell through Parliament as it burned:

and a good view:

So now its 8 pm so I'm in my hotel as everything closes at 6. Or 5. Tomorrow and or Sunday I'm going to the Museum of Civilization, The Currency Museum (free!), Canada Science and Technology Museum, and Canadian Museum of Nature.
P.S. They haven't posted prices for the George Michael Toronto concert yet but I think the $385 per ticket they're asking for the Montreal concert ain't good news. Especially as I now don't have enough for 2 tickets at that price on my card....

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Ottawa: Day one

Its a little cold and snowy here. I was on the 7 am Porter flight and for some reason my ears like exploded on landing, they're still not right.
The course is going well although because I got up at 5 to catch the flight, when they put on a video at 4 pm and shut out the lights I fell instantly asleep.
My course is in the middle of nowhere in Quebec so I got some cute guy in my course to give me a ride back to my hotel. Has Ottawa gone downhill in 17 years or was it always like this? There are LOTS of homeless people here, it reminds me of Atlanta or Chicago. They picked the wrong place, its freezing here.

This is a church, Notre Dame of Basilica or something.
I went first to the National Gallery.

This was like 25 feet long and quite freaky. There was basically not much else there, I thought it would be bigger. They were giving out the Order of Canada or something there so there was about a million people in the lobby. I had heard the Portrait Gallery down the street was closed but they had moved the collection into the National Gallery. Turns out they didn't.
So I left there and started the 7.5 mile walk down to the War Museum. I wish I could figure out these buses. Along the way I passed Parliament:

And the Rideau Canal:

And the Supreme Court of Canada:

Then I went to the War Museum.
The War Museum was amazing and so far the best part of Ottawa. I was looking around for tomorrow night, its a Friday night so of course everything is closed at 5 pm. I guess I'll get up early on Saturday and try to find either/or the Canadian Museum of Nature, Canada Science and Technology Museum, The Currency Museum and the Canadian Museum of Civilization.
Oh yeah, the War Museum. It has a special section on September 11, 2001:

This was a wad of Canadian $100 found at Ground Zero. They then returned it to the Canadian government.
There was also a special section on Tony Blair and his involvement in Iraq which I had already seen in London, I think. Then they had some cool vehicles:

And a recreation of a WW2 bunker.

When you get in there they say you're supposed to prepare for the night which would have TOTALLY sucked. Plus to get in the army you had to have good teeth as they made you eat a sort of dog biscuit thing. They really had it bad. Then lice and cold and smell and the whole getting shot thing.
This is a car Hitler rode in:

I took this exact same picture of this car 17 years ago when I was in Ottawa. It's pretty much all I remember from being here.
I have cable here but it takes me 20 minutes to find a show, and then I usually have to settle for something I wouldn't normally watch. How do people use this anarchic product?

Monday, March 24, 2008

Hey there, Veggie Boy

Well it's been a week now since I became a vegetarian and I notice two things. I do feel like I'm kind of missing something in my diet, but I also have not felt sick after eating for a week. Sometimes after I eat a burger or some other bad fast food I'll feel not sick, but not well, like I don't want to walk around for a while. Haven't felt that.
Next weekend in Ottawa I have plans to go to the Keg and if I do I will order a steak. Steak was like my favourite thing a little while ago so it will be too hard to resist.
It just became a question of ethics. If I support not eating eggs and treating chicken correctly, how can I justify eating a pig raised under similar conditions? It's not like I'll never eat meat again, but it's the same principle with robbing a bank. You don't do it because it's wrong, not because of the punishment.

So Friday I went to the ROM, Saturday I went to Peterborough to see where my brother goes to school at Trent and then yesterday I went to the new site for the Archives and went through their duplicate books and magazines for 6.5 hours. Then today I tried to sell some of them. I created an "About Me" page for the Archives. The thing is, they have about 40 boxes of books and about 100 boxes of magazines that I could never go through if I had the rest of my life so its quite a daunting task.

Finally I close with my new deodorant, from Avon, Cool Confidence.

"Always on-the-go, yet always feminine with Cool Confidence!"
Everything I always wanted to be. I liked unscented deodorants and if they made more for men I wouldn't be in this pickle.

Thursday, March 20, 2008


Here he is, Mr. Heinz Winckler as Roger in Rent, which played tonight at the Sony Centre.
According to the tour website their next stop is a date in London, ON and 2 days in Kitchener. Wherever that is. I was hoping they were going to Ottawa so I could see the show again there. How long will it take me to learn, nothing happens in Ottawa after dark!

Well the cast was really young. Heinz is 9 months older than me and I think everyone else was younger. A big difference from the Broadway cast I saw in September, Anthony Rapp just turned 36. It was almost like the High School version but it worked in almost every way.

The two exceptions were Mark played by Jed Resnick and Maureen played by Christine Dwyer. Jed is quite obviously gay and played the role a bit too campy. Anthony Rapp who made the role famous is also gay but didn't look like an 18 year old twink mincing around the bathhouse. Christine was better as Maureen but every other cast I've seen Maureen is a heavy set girl, Christine is more tall than heavy and has a strange lisp when she goes into her lower register.

The crowd was very young, I saw a high school bus parked outside, and as I'm surrounded by a group of 15 year old boys who all know the words to the songs, I'm thinking - Are they all gay? They didn't seem to be. What group of straight boys at 15 goes out to a musical in $100 seats?

The theatre was HUGE holding 3,500 people and packed full. I couldn't even see the last row of the balcony so I'm very glad I was on the floor. I was about 10th row and I still wished I was closer.

Heinz Winckler was fantastic as Roger. I've never really cared for this role, as played by Adam Pascal on Broadway it was always kind of a rebel guy with long hair and a leather jacket being sullen but Heinz brought something new and I enjoyed the role for I believe the first time. The whole cast had a dynamic energy, looked like they really enjoyed being there and that made it great, plus the subtle changes only someone who'd seen the show 6 times would notice were good too.

Last note, the role of Angel the drag queen is always played by a man and I and the 15 year old boys were disappointed when the program said the role would be played by Kristen-Alexzander Griffith. Turns out no one has any idea what this person is gender wise. Tranny? She/he has a website but its down.
Oh, and no Anwar Robinson, despite what the papers said. No big loss.
Oh, and I sat beside a 11 year old boy who ate 3 shrimp rolls and looked like he wanted to play Nintendo. These tickets cost $100, what are people doing?

Also I created a pretty cool looking "about me" page for the archives on ebay. Check it out. Another Gay Archive in Florida is also listing their stuff too, check out one of their listings here (yes I bought it...) They have a different philosophy, they sell 95% of their stuff for .99$ or buy it now for $1.99. I guess they're trying to make it up in volume? I'm still holding out for the big bucks. I love it when you list something and it explodes, gets way more than you thought. This last round a 14 page PFLAG pamphlet got $15 and a book called Unzipped, which I saw for $5 on another site got $20. Nice!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


I have a mixed opinion about haircutting. Why pay for something when you can get it for free? I can cut my hair myself and in a week no one can tell it's not professional, so why pay for it? Like music and movies, why pay for it if you can get something almost as good for nothing?
Well, as part of my new regime of positivity, I'm trying to dress better, look better, eat better (No chickens! No eggs!) and this may lead to feeling better. So I went to get my hair cut at lunch today, and according to Spencer Quest's blog you should always tip haircutters, so a $15 cut and wash and a $2 tip, my hair is feeling VERY soft and I think I look good:

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


There's a lot of negativity at work and little things pile on and add to make big. What do I want to do with the rest of my life? Should I leave the department? Should I leave the government? Should I continue traveling the world, is it giving me satisfaction, is it getting me through, or should I focus on home?
I think working for the archives is a step in the right direction. But I need to think about what I should do as something HAS to change.
My memoir:
When will this stuff be easier?

Monday, March 17, 2008


I haven't been porn blogging in like forever. Maybe I'll give it up.
In unrelated news check this out. It's an amazing blog from Josh Kilmer-Purcell who may be my favourite author. The first post to read is this one where me mentions after they moved in it started to rain and the next day they noticed a tiny spot on the ceiling.

Then they had only a mattress left as everything was water damaged and every time it rained they'd turn the mattress on it's side, cover it in plastic and sleep separately. Now here's their hallway.

Seriously it's hilarious, check it out.
Also go here and check out this site for the book "Not quite what I was planning: Six Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure". Legend has it that Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words. His response? “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” Last year, SMITH Magazine re-ignited the recountre by asking our readers for their own six-word memoirs. They sent in short life stories in droves, from the bittersweet (“Cursed with cancer, blessed with friends”) and poignant (“I still make coffee for two”) to the inspirational (“Business school? Bah! Pop music? Hurrah”) and hilarious (“I like big butts, can’t lie”).
Write your own six word memoir and send it to me or post it here.
Some other guys: "Loved God, Men. Didn't choose God."
These are addictive.
"Cinderella story, only edgier, more subplots"
"he wore dresses, this caused messes."
"All my stuff is in storage."
Ok mine.
This is hard.
When will this stuff be easier?

Ottawa - March 27, 2008

I'm going to be in Ottawa March 27-30 for work and wanted to check out what there is to see and do.

I am on Porter flight PD0245 leaving the island airport at 7 a.m. Why 7 a.m.? Because that is my life. Then I'm on course until 4:30 p.m., then staying at the glorious Days Inn - Ottawa. Owww.... the glamour!

So will I be exhausted Thursday night from getting up at 5:30 in the morning? Does a bear shit in the woods? How about something light for Thursday night, like the Rideau Canal? But without skating and no boat tours, what do you do, walk around and freeze? I can do that.

Mapquest says the main spot for viewing is 6 kms away but the hotel is on Rideau St so it can't be that far. Don't forget, I will be seeing mud in the dark, not this view.

Actually the War Museum is free Thursday from 4-9 pm so I'm there. Maybe Rideau on Friday? Hopefully it will be raining.

It's like 3 km away and the walk seems to go right past Parliament Hill, which I'm assuming has the Parliament Buildings?

How do I get there? The transit site is useless. Check out this picture:

Wonderful. Now it's clear.

So Saturday I can check out the National Gallery of Canada which looks pretty cool.

This is the main entrance. It's open 10-5. It's $9 and also has free admission Thursdays after 5pm. Could I run through both on my first night there as I run past Parliament and fall in Rideau Canal on the way home? That sounds good but then I have Friday Saturday and Sunday free. What else is there to do in this Hamlet?

There's also the Museum of Civilization, 9-5, Thurs 9-9, with this map that I might be able to follow:

Next up the Science and Technology Museum, which is 9 km away and says to take "OC TRANSPO #85 (St Laurent) or # 86 (Elmvale)", heavens knows what that means.

The War Memorial stands in the heart of Confederation Square, whereever that is.

I googled Theatre in Ottawa and my computer started laughing at me. I get this website announcing the 2005 season. What do these people do at night? Fall asleep at 5 pm?
I could go see Fred Eaglesmith and the Flying Squirrels:

Doesn't he look lovely?
There is a gay theatre company, their next production is July 17. What year?
It turns out the gay district is like across the street from Parliament. How convenient! It has two shops, one called Wilde's and one called After Stonewall Books, which has a broken website. Looks like hours of fun!

Monday, March 10, 2008

Gay Cats

You know what would be cool? If I could refine some of this stuff a little (a lot) and make it into a book.
Anyway, today's topic: I heard through the homosexual orthodoxy some house cats are homosexual. Is this true or the right wing spreading fear and negativity toward the pussies?
According to Yahoo Answers, this guy has a gay cat:
Is it possible for a cat to be homosexual? Because if it is, my cat is it..he humps my other male cat all the time, well tries anyway. They are both fixed. I have 2 female cats also, and he doesnt go after them, only the male, always licking him, and mounting him...anyone know why? or is he just a homosexual cat?

Of course this is difficult to do when you internet connection is slower than me running from a pie. So I'll post this one.

Trannie chimps? When was this on PBS?



How do you feel good when you feel bad? How can you end the frustration you feel building? How can you sit in a corner and say nothing all day and come home and do the same thing to no one, the same nothing. When is the last straw? Is this it? Is this?
Where does the happiness come from? Is it inside? Is it outside? Is it other people or is it all my interaction to them? Is it all me?
Don' have cream in your coffee, don't have sugar in your coffee, don't have coffee. Don't smoke, don't drink, don't talk, don't think. Be beaten down for another month than it will be permanent. Throw up from stress and tension, come to my party at eleven. You didn't come and you don't drink. They are our friends, no longer your friends and people grow apart.
The space is so small, make it smaller, add more stuff, change your house, change you mind, change your words, the one constant: change. Change.
Don't eat that, you're fat. Don't look at porn you're addicted to that. Don't look outside for affection, who has ten boyfriends anyway? Your need to show off is causing all your anxiety, see a doctor, see the mirror, wear better clothes. Don't wear makeup, you're not a girl. Buy better chicken and multi grain roles. Don't wear that shirt, it's full of holes.
I'd hate to see your apartment. You think this is fun? Which is the last straw? This one? Or this one?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Hazardous Driving

On my way home from the archives tonight I took like 2 steps out the door and this guy calls me over to his car. I thought he wanted directions so I went over and he says "Where are you going?" so I said "Yonge and St Clair" and he says "Get in". I was like "No, thanks" and he's like "C'mon" and I was thinking what a fabulous blog entry so I got in the car.
It turns out he just finished working, he's the guy who goes up to people in bars and asks if they want to buy a rose. So I thought, I'm not putting out so I better start chatting. We talked a little and then the drop off. It went easier than I thought, no wrestling match at the door, and he did invite himself in, and I thought about it for a second, and then realized my place was a mess.

Last night at the archives I met Ian Young, he wrote Out in Paperback: A Visual History of Gay Pulps which got me into collecting gay books and brought me to the archives in the first place so that was amazing and I talk to him for about 30 minutes. He wrote a book how the community went from Stonewall to AIDS and I asked how. I said how I had done a few research posts on my blog, but how do you continue for an entire book, and how do you not keep quoting other people who said the stuff before you did. He said you quote people all the time and it's quite similar to my research approach but after you finish, you do it again with a slight variation on topic and collect them all into a book. That sounds like something I could do.

I broke my office-style chair at my desk at home by having sex on it. I live in a bachelor apartment, how many options do I have? Now what will I do? It has a habit of throwing anyone who sits in it across the room unless you balance on it perfectly. Super.

I was thinking to myself the yesterday I should look for a guy with a facial or mental deformity as they'd be easier to catch and a cute one talked to me in the elevator at the archives. He was holding a book he was reading so I figured the mental problems couldn't be that bad. The whole ride home in the flower car I was thinking "I should have asked that guy out." If I see him there again I'll be on him like white on rice.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Hey Willpower

Pretty cool show! Also saw this video at Inside/Out 2 years ago.