Cruise - Jan 28-09

As we leave Haiti and I didn't see any of it. Nice mountains.

Ice show was kind of dumb.

Comedian Alec Mapa.

Hottie Charlie who works for the cruise company. Yum.

Hottie Charlie again. Less yum.

The dining room. Amazing food and service.

Super heroes.

Disco party this afternoon. "Disco sucks but I swallow"

This guy reminded me of He Man and I fell in love with him. I have like a photo album full of photos of him.

Tonight's Mardi Gras party.

Gay hypnotist show was quite good.

Drag cabaret, amazing show with a great sing-a-long. At the end we sang "The Rainbow Connection" and all the gays singing together and showtunes and it was quite fun, a warm fuzzy moment and she was super funny too. Loved it!

The Dating Game.

Broadway tribute show. This was "Masquerade" from Phantom of the Opera. Show was good too.

What an awesome time. When to write anything? Every day is so busy!

This is the most fun vacation I've ever been on, really.

AMAZING!

The boat docked in Haiti today and I didn't even get off, I was having too much fun here.

Cruise Ship - Monday

Me sunburned

My roommate

Miami

Me in front of Miami

Drag magic act

Charro

Charlie, the CUTE dancer staff boy

The mall

Me at the back of the boat

Me with Levi and the hostess of drag bingo

Levi showing where to mark the cards

Project Runway winning outfit

Heidi Klum?

Me with unfortunate wind

Boys

Party ship!

Jan 26, 2009

The internet is slower than molassas and costs 55 cents a minute so I will add pictures later.

I had some time to kill yesterday before I got to the ship so I decided to go to the beach. South beach is beautiful and all the gays were out waiting for the ship to leave. There's this thing at the gay beach where you go down in regular cargo shorts and then strip off to reveal your micro swim suit. I didn't get the memo so I just lay there in my shorts reading my book. It was quite nice to relax, and I didn't put on any sun screen as I wanted a tan. Half an hour on each side I thought would do it. Turns out it was far too long and now I am burned to a near crisp. Getting on board went pretty easy and then it was party party party! I like that I look better than a lot of guys here, I was worried not having a 6 pack would be a disadvantage.I walked around a lot of the ship, then off to a singles cocktail party which was a leper colony so I ran out. I then lost my camera but it was quickly returned to guest services. Then off to the Charro show. She played guitar and was ok but I'm not that into her, I had no idea who she was before this cruise. Then I went to the casino and lost $20 in 15 minutes. I couldn't believe the money went so fast so when I was down to my last $6 I cashed out and bet everything on black. My roommate is black! It landed on red.Then off to a crappy comedy show we walked out of, some shopping in the mall on the boat and then a drag magic show.Today was breakfast and Project Runway on the ship which was SUPER fun. $31 for bingo is the biggest rip off but it was fun drag bingo. Next time I think I may just watch. You could also play with this electronic bingo card thing for $65! Yikes! For one 60 minute game of bingo!
After that a dog tag dance. They put stickers on your tags, like red if you're in a relationship, yellow if maybe and green if looking. Two green stamps means "Meet me in my room in 15 minutes". So I just said "Put as many green stickers on as the thing will hold!"
Kind of cruisy here but no luck so far. I have a roommate and it seems like such a committment to bring someone to the room. I kissed a couple passing strangers and got felt up in the lobby. Still fun. The guy I rode in the taxi here had three guys already! It was suggested that maybe nothing has happened as I have standards which sounds good. Will the people on the boat get better looking as the week goes on?
Actually I'm having a great time. I'm off to a singles dinner, then topless dice boys in the casino, then a comedy showcase and an ice show followed by a comedy show and an all night dance. Phew!

TATTOO

I got a tattoo.


It's a Chinese character meaning "zen".
I had been thinking about it for a long time and there are tons of tattoo places around here. It was $80.
It's to:
1. Help me focus on calmness and serenity
2. It looks cool
3. It's to help me realize that I'm 30. I used to think how terrible it would be to have something that lasts forever on your body but I now realize I won't last forever. What's the point of dying with a perfect body?

I'm thinking of getting the gay flag on my ankle too. But between my new luggage, mp3 player and the tattoo I don't have any more money so I'd better wait.
It hurt a fair bit. The worst part was the times it felt like my arm was being slit open with a razor blade. That kind of sucked.

Miami - Day One

Miraculously I got picked up on time and got to the air port on time and woke up on time! Hurrah!

As usual the internet here is screwed up and I barely have a signal but it seems to be working a little.

Let's start this off with a quiz. Which of the following stupid things did I do? (I'll set up the answer to appear here automatically at 2 pm, with photos.)

a) Dye my hair pink
b) Get a tattoo
c) Pierce my nipple

I did one of those!

So while I'm waiting 100 years for the photos to upload, I'll talk about the day. I got to the airport on time and they told me my flight was canceled. This ended up being ok as they offered me a direct flight in first class instead at 9:30 am. So I hung around a little while and the flight was good. When I got off I went for the bus as I still had a couple hours to check in.

I met these gay guys on the bus and it turns out they're on the cruise. I'm going over to their hotel tomorrow at two to catch a taxi with them.

So while I was at Pearson the zipper on my bag exploded and I had to go buy a new one. While I was there I also bought the Spanish equivalent of the IPOD. I'm listening to it now, it SEEMS to work ok, but the random function doesn't work that well. If it skips to number 41 say and you don't like 41 so you hit next, it won't go to another random song, it will go to number 42. It's annoying. At least this one seems to play music, unlike my last one which blew up.

I checked into the hostel and asked if the beach was nearby and they said a block away:

It's like 25 degrees Celsius here, perfect for wearing shorts or lounging on the beach.
I walked around the beach and came to the gay part of the beach, which was small. I love this new super zoom lens, you can get some great shots without anyone being the wiser:

If my blog is family friendly for this trip I have done something wrong.
I watched some boys play volleyball:

Then I went out to get some night shots. It looks just like the Grand Theft Auto: Vice City game here.


There seems to be 2 gay bars here and they're both loaded to the brim with people. Apparently it's quite common to have your wallet or cell phone stolen at these places so maybe I'll give them a miss?
Cruising tomorrow. More so. With all the gays in town, a few have looked at me. I feel like fresh meat! It's terrible! Well, terribly good.

Jerry Springer: The Opera

I wish I could write theatre reviews. I go to enough shows, more than everyone I know combined.

Perhaps it's an acquired talent? I could give it a whirl.

Tonight I went to see Jerry Springer: The Opera at U of T's Hart House. The enclosed video is a song from the play set to classical dances from films past.

I had seen the play previously, a filmed version of the British stage play. In person the play is wildly better. I loved that most of the cast was U of T students who added a youthful edge and enthusiasm that might not be conveyed in a more professional production.

The first act of the play is the reason to go. Basically three groups of guests come on to the Jerry Springer show and sing songs and tell their deceptions. Fights ensure, and all the songs have great lines. "I don't give a fuck no more if people think I am a whore." "Dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians". This isn't family theatre.

I remembered the second act being terrible and although it improved based on the general strength of the performers, it still needs a drastic re-write. Jerry Springer goes to Hell and runs his show with the Devil, Jesus, Mary, etc. It just goes way off base from the core of the show and sets up a moralistic tone that doesn't feel genuine.

Stand out performers were JP Bevilacqua as the Warm-Up Guy and Satan. Looking a little like Pee-Wee Herman he is a ball of energy and adds a great dynamic to all his scenes. Also Ian Bender (pictured above) playing the "chick with the dick" Tremont gives a Tim Curry style Rocky Horror type performance and brings down the house in the first act of the show. Ian is also playing in the Wizard of Oz and the Isabel Bader theatre.

Lowlights were Greg Finney (pictured above left) as Dwight and God. I first saw him as the minister in Footloose: The Musical and he brought nothing to that role. Here he looks out of place as a middle aged man amongst university students. And when he takes off his shirt... not good. Acting was just bland and unemotional. Also Linda Gallant as the stripper. One song transcended this musical, the gay club hit "I Just Wanna Fuckin' Dance" from the video above so it better be sung well. The audience in the theatre was half gay men, they know this song, and for her to squeak out a varibly rendition just didn't cut it. She may have the butt for her song "Talk to the ass" but the voice needs work.

Overall great fun and a must see before it closes at the end of the month.

Let's see what eye magazine said:

"Why is the Olivier Award-winning musical Jerry Springer — The Opera (2003) receiving its Canadian premiere at a university theatre? Why has it been performed in New York only for two nights in concert? At first one might assume this has to do with its extraordinarily crude language or its incredibly lurid and, to fundamentalist Christians, extremely blasphemous subject matter. Judging from the Hart House production the answer is simple — while the first half is blissfully outrageous and inventive, the second is boring.

As the musical’s title suggests, the show’s single joke is the contrast between its lowbrow content and the highbrow pretensions of its music to opera. Composer Richard Thomas’ rich score references the whole history of classical music — from sacred liturgy to baroque opera and oratorio to Carl Orff — while still maintaining a pop sensibility. Meanwhile, Stewart Lee’s lyrics ensure no form of profanity, blasphemy or scatology is ignored. This technique works best in the show’s first half, which musicalizes a typical Springer show. There’s the man cheating on his fiancée with two women and a guy, the husband who tells his wife that he’s an infantilist with a dirty-diaper fetish and the woman who confronts her redneck husband with her ambition to be a pole dancer. Thomas, naturally enough, uses the rowdy stage audience as a chorus.

Unfortunately, when we move into Jerry’s mind in the second half, the creators seem to have used up all their ideas. The score is not as inventive and the schoolboy idea of Satan (a marionette-like J.P. Bevilacqua) forcing Jerry to hold a show in hell with guests like Adam (Scott Gorman), Eve (Linda Gallant) and Jesus (Benjamin Mehl) strives to be offensive but goes nowhere.

Toronto Star theatre critic Richard Ouzounian provides efficient direction, trying to find a scrap of humanity amid all the heavy satire, and Byron Rouse is excellent as the slick, non-singing Springer, whose false air of concern can’t hide his loathing for his guests, but the show seems to end about three times before it just peters out. Indeed, Jerry Springer — The Opera gradually expanded from a one-act work in 2000 to its present three-act form, and by the end, more exhausted than elated, you can’t help but feel it is two acts too long."

Basically the same.

Negativity

More negativity today.
This time from someone I volunteer with. I was copied on an email where he said bad things about me, among other things that I'm a drama queen. And perhaps I was, perhaps I still am, but I'm trying to get away from that.

I responded back, trying to think "what would the wise person do?". So I didn't attack back. I just said these issues are best resolved in person, not in an email to 17 people, and that I was disappointed this happened.

Ultimately, upon reflection, I realize this may be what the wise person would do. But the wisest person would have not responded at all.

By even acknowledging this negativity, I brought it into my life, my day. The smarter thing would have been to just steer clear of the situation. Realize that all some people have to give is negativity and stay away.

Another day, another lesson learned, and another step closer to true happiness? We'll see.

Three more sleeps. And I have a ride to the airport!

I suggested my boyfriend with the car drive me to the airport and he laughed and laughed. Then I laughed. I think even the cat laughed.

Preparation

As I get ready for my cruise, I stop to think about the others in my life. And as I reflect on the people I've come upon, I must also think about the people who have come upon me.

I bought a new watch, got my hair cut tonight and I've been working ALL the time. All weekend, until 8 last night. Ugh.

So I want to be at the airport Saturday for 6 am. The last bus to the airport leaves Yonge and Bloor at 4:30 so I have to leave here at 4 am or pay $50 for a taxi. Ugh. The first subway would get me to the airport at 7:30 as my plane was leaving. This gets better and better. So I get up at 3:30 am, gouge out my eyes, and I'm off. That's one thing I hate about travelling. I get up at 3:30 am and I get to my hostel about 3:30 pm.

Tomorrow I may be going to Granny Boots and Thursday I have Jerry Springer: The Opera so I'd better go clean up and do laundry.

Nothing of note in the news today, except Mayor Adams of Portland, who is openly gay, has admitted to having a sexual affair with an 18 year old intern. Here's the two of them together:

First of all, this guy looks 30. Second of all he looks like the devil.
In unrelated news, I am in training all day Friday to learn how to be a mentor to a YMCA student. At work I will be getting my own intern! This should end well....

The Principal's Office

The Needle Exchange

I went to the Needle Exchange last night, a show at the gay theatre Buddies in Bad Times. Here's me at dinner:

I had a veggie sub, which is basically bread with condiments on it. Yum.
Then off to the show. It was two separate shows, the first was Zona Pellucinda or something like that. The staging was amazing but the script was a bit disjointed.
Afterwards, a half hour with Keith Cole in a variety style show.
I wore a shirt I had made with the poster for the show on it and expected to be ribbed, and instead my date was called out in the first five minutes and talked about through the whole show. Upstaged!
The guests were some guy who wants to lead the provincial NDP and Todd Klink and Mandy Goodhandy who run a local sex club. Todd Klink also wrote a book which I bought and got him to sign last summer.
After the show, I showed Keith Cole my shirt and got a couple photos with him:


Every night the show has different guests and I explained how I wanted to come back but they said I had to pay $30 for a whole ticket when I only wanted to see half the show. He said I could come anytime and tell the door he said it was ok.
So tonight I went back. This lesbian on the door was questioning me, like I would make up that he said that, and she made someone go get the star of the show to vouch for me which was embarrassing. I had a feeling he'd say "Who the fuck are you?" but to my surprise, he was like "Oh, Adam! Yeah, he's ok, let him in." Which was very cool. Then he said "Ladies and Gentlemen, Adam!" which was strange because it was just the three of us standing in the hallway.

Anyway, I went and sat down and the show started and he announced the guests were all OWL's (Older Wiser Lesbians). So they had the head of EGALE, RM Vaughan, and Susan G Cole, editor of Now magazine. The show was great again. At one point Keith started complaining about how the Globe and Mail never reviewed his show and some guy stood up and said "I'm from the Globe and Mail. I'm here to review the show" which was quite funny.
Another funny part from tonight was how he said he wasn't afraid to play the gay card. He's like "So I call up Sympatico, and they give me a hard time, and I'm like 'I'm poor and I'm faggy' and they give me a free month."

What really pissed me off was I had two prints from the show blown up. My idea was to get Keith Cole and John Caffrey to sign them, keep them for a while and then donate them to the archives. I kind of worried I was coming off as a crazed stalker last night so I didn't get Keith Cole to sign the poster. I brought the posters to work to bring with me tonight but realized I had forgotten to bring a marker so I didn't bring the posters tonight. So of course 5 minutes into the show John Caffrey sits beside me and it was the perfect opportunity to have them both sign it. D'oh.

I may go back again, we'll see.

In other news, I've been going to yoga every day. I occasionally think about writing about it as stuff sometimes happens there but then as I go about my day I forget. Today the class starts and the lady says "This is an advanced class today. Everyone ready, 1-2-3..." and then it was non-stop for an hour. I wasn't expecting that, it was a bit too much. Plus I took my shirt off for the class for the first time today. Every day I have to wear one shirt to yoga and another home and its a lot of laundry. I think I actually sweat more with my shirt off, and with nothing to catch the sweat it ran into my nose, my eyes, my mouth. Fun!

Good news

I was awoken this morning by the phone. My credit card company announced that my credit card had been compromised and they were going to replace it.

I'm like:
- "I'm going to get new glasses in an hour. Can you wait until then?"
- "No."

So it's going to take 7-10 business days to get a new one. It could be worse, it could have happened the day before I left.

In other news, I know some people have but up on their blogs a list of the best and worst movies of the year. I figure no one cares about my movie opinion, so here's Ru Paul's take on the movies of the year:

THE GOOD:
doubt
slumdog millionaire
gran torino
synecdoche, new york
frozen river
the reader
milk
vicky cristina barcelona
australia
the wrestler

THE BAD & THE UGLY:
benjamin button
changeling
revolution road
seven pounds
what just happened
defiance
tale of despereaux
quantum of solace
rachel getting married

I would say Slumdog Millionaire should be in the bad category.

Entertainment Weekly is saying:
- Slumdog - overrated
- Benjamin Button - unlikable
- Dark knight - comic book
- Frost/Nixon - good, but not a current, fresh choice
- Milk- great

For once, I've seen all the best picture nominees. Thank you piracy!

Found art ubu

Went to Mercer Union tonight for an art gallery opening.
It was all found art from ubu web. But try and find any of it on that website. I couldn't.
Most of these are self explanatory. They're all signs this guy found around town in New York City.



Here's the artist:

I was wondering if he was wearing "found clothes".

Have you ever stopped to wonder what sort of weirdo you are?

This one from a distance:

And when you zoom in on the bottom:




I love this one:

It's like someone put up a notice for a found pet, but it's a pigeon. They found a pigeon on the streets of New York City and put up a "found" poster for it.
This random woman in the crowd was holding on to a fox fur:

Don't kill or eat animals.
Another aspect to the show was there short story artworks created on MS Word.


And some weird music graph thing that Joe liked.

I close with more of the good stuff, the found signs:

I love that in the bottom right "There was no sex in the 1960 incident".

I have to go. I have syphilis of the brain.