Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Quarterly Prohibited Items List

I subscribe to the Government of Canada's Quarterly Prohibited Items list. In order to get on the mailing list I think you have to know someone as a google search revealed nothing. This month's list of titles I have to check out, I mean stay away from, included one I own, Straight to Hell #66, which I bought in Manhattan for $6. It's independently published, basically photocopied magazine with stories from readers. I have no idea why it was banned. The best part is they print letters from total nut jobs, like this one:
MILWAUKEE-Okay this is really scary and I don't know how many people I can talk to about it, so I come to you. I suddenly have this huge crater in my butt crack. And I don't know where it came from. I woke up this morning and there's a bonus orifice. I wonder if aliens came for me last night and just missed their normal hole. I am truly baffled and a little concerned. How the hell does one wake up with an ass crater? I guess I needed another hole so I can have even more sex.
Now what bothers me is how secretive this organization is, much like in This Film is Not Yet Rated. Who exactly are these people? Can I become one of them? Is this done by vote? Committee?
I emailed them, asking for a Master List or back copies of the quarterly report, they refused. Similar to my Doctor Who toys being refused at the border, they need give no explanation. Does this list apply to titles I already own, or just ones I want to import in the future? Wouldn't it help the public to provide this list so they know if they're breaking a law by buying a book? And is it too much to ask they provide links to the sellers of these items so I don't have to do all the work myself finding them?
In other news, I am poor this month for some reason. Is it because of the $75 to renew my driver's license, the $87 for my passport renewal, the $601 in back taxes, the $900 dentist bill, the $300 hydro bill, $150 student loan? Or some combination of the above? Or the fact that I paid $100 for a bootleg copy of a DVD?
Finally I received a copy of Physique Pictorial today.

From 1962, it's a VERY tame magazine for "Health Professionals". It shows guys in bodybuilding poses, all wearing posing straps, the butt is the most they show. What's great is how interspersed with the magazine is letters and comments deriding the perverts who see this magazine as being for anyone other than "health professionals". I close with a letter from a reader:
"You should be very proud of your fine photography and artwork--be more positive--no reason to be ashamed. You are'nt (their spelling) going to change the dirty minds anyway. I am a priest in a small narrow-minded town so please do not give my name or locality. - O.R."
I forgot the best part! The best title off the prohibited items list "Cum in My Kimono".

Monday, October 22, 2007


I've started a new thing where whenever I'm surprised I say "eek" but I put a "bl" on it so it becomes "bleek". I figured I did so well with my whole "Ai'ight" thing I'd branch out.
There's a lot going on and one of the key things I figure is getting me through is I have no time to take stock. I'm working 10-12 hours a day and I don't have time to watch my shows, on Sunday I slept about 14 hours. I don't mind it, its making the time until my next vacation go by quickly.
Speaking of which I want to go at the end of April, Auschwitz is open year round. Check out the link, it's cool. This reminds me, I need to find time to renew my passport. The flight looks like death, 3 changes, I leave 5 pm Tuesday I arrive 2 pm Wednesday, ugh. $850 isn't bad. Plus I don't need a visa.
Well, what else. I have a bunch on stuff I can't talk about, the RCMP through work and I got offered a job today. It's more money and travel and a great boss but there's some stuff I hate about it, I can't really say anything. Right now it's a no but I'm waiting for more details.
An ebay listing came up for a partner for my gay doll. It's over $50 with 3 days left, I just know it's going over $100. One cool thing, some outfits were listed for the doll, a firefighter, a leather outfit and a sailor. These outfits were never sold separately so these are a cool find, unfortunately they're going for like $50, I should have bought another doll in New York City when I had the chance.
Finally I found some cool pictures on this website and emailed them for costs, for example they had a CD with like 12 pictures which I figured I could print at high quality for my wall. They got back to me, the CD is 600 Euros, over $800. I'll get right on that.
I need to stop going on ebay. This movie I've been waiting to see FOREVER, I just put a bid of $65 on it, it was never released on DVD. It was never released in theatres. It's a bootleg and it's totally going over $100, I wouldn't be surprised if it went over $200. I must be stopped! Germany, Poland, large tax bill......

Friday, October 19, 2007


I went to see Cats tonight and it is quite honestly the worst musical ever made.
Filled with nonsense like:
"Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone"
"Reserving our terpsichorean powers
To dance by the light of the Jellicle Moon"
Really the whole thing was a pile of crap that made me want to buy a dog. During the intermission all people could talk about was whether they should leave now or try and stick with it. It's a series of 15 songs, all unrelated, about different cats. Each of these songs is terrible with lyrics that make no sense. Then there's a 15 - 20 minute ballet segment where I fell asleep.
At the very end a cat gets on a podium and sings a song about how to treat cats, with lyrics like:
"With cats, some say one rule is true
Don't speak 'til you are spoken to
Myself I do not hold with that
I say you should ad-dress a cat"
Ugh. I really can't devote a second more to this.
I'm halfway through Lance Bass' book. I had heard that his band Nsync had gotten a lousy contract but you think of show business people and you think "Their lousy is not my lousy!" Turns out their lousy is my lousy. After touring for a year and selling 15 million albums they were only receiving a cash per diem of $35 a day. They had received no extra money on top of this. When they finally refused to work anymore they were presented with a cheque, the money the record company said they earned after 15 million albums, over 300 concerts and t-shirts and merchandising: $25,000. Now that is lousy.
Off to bed, party tomorrow, the movie Rendition on Saturday and I think I might take myself to see Lars and the Real Girl on Sunday.
For my birthday I am going to the John Waters Christmas show, it should be the time of my life.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Some books I own of note for value

Some books I own of note for value:

The Chop Suey Club by Bruce Weber. A friend bought this book for me in the late 90's, it's a book of pictures following the life of a boy from age 15-18, with some shots of celebrities included with him for fun. I sold my original copy and bought this one for about $200 a couple years ago. I've seen it here for $275.

For a Lost Soldier by Rudi Van Dantzig. I bought this book in the mid 90's at Glad Day Bookshop. I was 17 and it was a book about a 22 year old Canadian soldier in World War 2 who fell in love with a 13 year old boy - written by the boy. It's not explicit but because of the subject matter very rare - few stores would sell it. I've seen it here for $125.

The Cather in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. This is one of about 5 copies I own of this book. This is the first paperback edition, one of 2,500 copies printed. I've seen it here for $275.

Oh happy day!

Check this out! I looked at this companies' website and I can get this photo on a package of 20 Christmas cards for only $24.95, not including shipping. OR I could get it on a BBQ apron for $22, a puzzle for $18 or a mug filled with Hershey's kisses for $26. Oh happy day!
I was looking at World Series tickets, they are crazy. The worst seat in the stadium is $500. The worst seat on the floor is $800. Decent floor seats are $1,750. The best seats are over $5,000. Now I want to go one day but do I want to sacrifice a house down-payment to do so?
I have a link to the left here of Denis Cooper's blog. He's an author I like, I think I've read all his books, they're really out there. His blog is weird because at times it's brilliant and at other times horrible.
One of my favourite porn stars is offering a pair of his used underwear for $30. This is quite a deal if you consider my favourite star, Brent Corrigan, is charging $1,000. They're going to be in a movie together, The Porne Ultimatium. Brilliant!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Musical Theatre

So even though Lance Bass's book isn't supposed to be out until October 23, amazon is shipping it to me tomorrow. I may actually read this one, instead of throwing it on the pile with the rest of my books.
I just finished watching Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with Donnie Osmond. I think there's a reason why this movie didn't get a wide release. This musical has gone into the annuls as of the the successful Weber musicals, all the while keeping quiet that fact that it's written for children, it's VERY dated (more so than Phantom), it's only about 90 minutes long, and has a score of "worldly" numbers. By worldly I mean the characters all smoke cigarettes and sing in French accents. Then they all sing reggae with the black man doing the main part. Then the all sing country and have a "hoe-down". Seriously.
But this does bring up the question, what has Andrew Lloyd Webber been doing for the past 20 years? Ah, I see, he wrote a song based on the video game Tetris. How nice.
I of course bring all this up as I am going to see Cats on Thursday, I have excellent seats. I remember when I was younger, first going to the theatre, I used to pay $20 and sit in the last row and marvel how I was getting the same entertainment as everyone else for much cheaper. Now I'm the exact opposite, wondering why anyone wouldn't pay that little more to sit in front.
Friday I have a party, which brings up another excellent point, why do I have more than my share of enemies? John, Jay, that brainy girl who tells boring stories, Sunali, my father, my arch-rival blogger, that guy I dated a couple months ago, Aleatha, the other John, that crippled guy who I made out with his boyfriend.... wait, I'm seeing a theme here.
My friend David who died recently, in the 9 years I knew him I learned alot. I was very young when we met and he had issues, well as do I, and I learned to forgive more. Being friends with him, I looked at the meaning of friendship, how no one is perfect, and no one will treat you right all the time. People break promises and change and want new things, and I think he taught me most to go with the flow. To accept that which I cannot change and have the courage to change what I can. So what's my point here? Everyone is inflexible but me! Wait, that doesn't seem right. Back to the drawing board....
I had to write more. In glancing over my blog, I noticed another thing that may be causing me problems. In a previous post I may have mentioned how someone was being petulant and petty, which I guess is not what you do when you're trying to make up with someone. Ok, food for thought.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Steers and Queers 2

I went to the Steers and Queers show tonight and although it's always a mixed bag, it is a lot of fun for a Thursday night. They played such great music, songs you didn't know you loved.
The evening was hosted by Miss Conception as Wynonna Judd.

The evening started with another show from Wally and the Beav or whatever their names were:

John Caffery was there from Kids on TV and at first I was wondering if he was mad at me about the whole naked picture exploitation thing, which he may have been. I took his picture secretly without the flash on:

but he was staring right at me so I'm sure by now my profile is registered with the local police. To make it up to him I sponsored him for the CN Tower climb, you can too here.
The next was this artist Strong Like Bull, who sang four Country/Electronica songs which was different. He looks good, although he looks like Dracula in this picture:

In fact he dances well and fills out a t-shirt but he can't sing.
The last act was Male Gaze. You may remember him from before. He was crazy as ever, this time dancing to hip hop before taking off his clothes and spitting corn.

In an ideal world I would have danced more and actually talked to John Caffery. In fact I was a little depressed. How did I go from picking up guys in bars, to picking up guys online, to picking up a tub of ice cream on the way home?
Overall a good night.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

I don't understand Ontario

Well, I officially do not understand this province.
Back to back Liberal majorities. What the fuck? These people said they would not raise taxes and then brought in the largest single tax increase in the history of this country. What else do they have do? Come to your house and break your windows? Wake up.
The Star says the race was won on faith. Now I admit the Liberals must be congratulated on their MASSACRE of the facts on this issue.
John Tory steps up and says "I want to end 150 years of inequality. The fact that Catholics get their religious school for free and no one else does in ridiculous in 2007. Something must be done." And the Liberals turn it into a prejudice and discrimination issue, telling people that their tax dollars will now be going to "some Muslim school" and that will bankrupt the public system, none of this is true, and thereby turning it into a vote on the future of public schools, instead of the issue of fairness which is WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT!
So once again I vote for a loser. And thanks to MMP failing, my vote now doesn't matter AT ALL. Brilliant. I have voted about 10 times, 3 times for the person that won. Not a great track record.
I was asked about my next trip, I'm planning 2. One in March, fly into Poland and check out Auschwitz, then take the train to Berlin. Then a road trip in the summer to Baltimore, Boston, Cleveland, Cincinnati and whatever else is nearby with a baseball stadium.
I got a few packages today, the Anthony Rapp CD (from Rent) which I paid $35 for, the new Wally Lamb book and the second Peter Wildeblood book. I was talking to a book collector last night and he said books made in the 50's last about 25 years because of acid in the ink. Modern books last about 10 before stains appear, which I never knew.
I have to go nap before Steers and Queers tonight.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

She works hard for the money

My goodness, lots to talk about. I have been very busy, at my parents and working 12 hour days.
My favourite torrent site recently banned Canadian users, today I heard about a new site which lets you hide your location when browsing so I'm happy again.
I went to my mom's for Thanksgiving and had fun. Here's my brother:

Surprisingly he was petty and insolent the whole time, even though he DID cancel on me costing me hundreds of dollars which I had to later APOLOGIZE for. So that was wonderful.
Here's the view from my mom's house:

Yeah it looks pretty, with the hill in the distance and all, but you didn't have to live there. Overall we had a great time playing Euchre and stuff. I got QUITE a lot of food, more than my fridge can hold and I may never get a chance to be home again to eat it.
Here's me on my mom's porch:

Notice how I had to crop her out because of her blog-phobia. If anyone asks, she doesn't exist.
Yesterday I went to see the Arthouse Cabaret at Buddies, I totally recommend going. I went with this couple I knew from work and when we get there, I say on the way out I'm going to get a picture of the host. My friend said to do it now, so I went over and asked him and got this:

and then 2 seconds later he walks over and informs the audience no pictures will be allowed while resting his hands on my shoulders. Then he carries on about how he's sure when you live in Oshawa you want to send pictures of drag queens to all your friends to prove you've been to the big city and I wanted to kill him. I should have taken a picture of the half-naked bus boy, at least that would have been worth it.
Anyway, the show was a tribute to 100 years of gay men and women's lib. It was quite well done, with video, acting, singing, cabaret, some lady wearing balloons that she popped with a cigarette, quite nice.
I was looking forward this month to actually getting a paycheque and not having to travel or commit it, but then I got a $700 bill from the dentist and a $600 bill from Revenue Canada, they're accusing me of repeatedly failing to disclose my income and are charging me $300 in penalties. Doesn't that seem like a lot?
I fell in love with 2 songs last night at the Cabaret, before I die I hope to have time to download them:
1. I Just Wanna Fuckin' Dance - from Jerry Springer: The Opera
2. Going to a Town - Rufus Wainwright
Tomorrow more boring training all day, Steers and Queers at night, Friday I'll probably be working until 9 p.m. I'd scream except I'm so happy.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Return to life

I find it so hard to blog after a vacation. It's like I had the perfect excuse for pictures and livelihood and now, nada. So I haven't written for about a week.
I was going to start this with the last picture I took in New York, on my last day there I took only one picture of Central Park, now I think I deleted it by mistake, whoops. So I'm going to try to upload videos I took, this will probably not work. I do have a poster for Steers and Queers which will be SO much fun and everyone should go to but no one will.

I had a busy day and when I woke up at 9 pm I was desperate for chocolate so I went to Starbucks. There's this new cute Barista there who was flirting with me so now I have to go back 7,000 times until he's mine. Now that I have my chocolate I think I'm getting a flu, I couldn't even finish my pumpkin seed muffin. Why does my feeling sick translate into a need for chocolate? I am doomed.
What's new? Well let's start with what's old. My cat is driving me crazy. She now refuses to sleep unless some part of her is touching me, usually her ass in my face.
What's new? Well from all my walking around in New York I now have a rash on my crotch unparalleled in the annuls of modern man. I have tried diaper cream, something from the doctor marked toxic, nothing works - I now walk like John Wayne. There's a side of the old west you never hear about.
I ordered pictures of my trips to New York and Chicago from a new site, we'll see if they're any good. 13 cents per picture and flat $3 shipping, I had 750 pictures, it was just over $100. At the Blacks down the street it would have been $250. The site I ordered the Chicago pictures from before took my money and did nothing for a month.
I am now obsessed with the Broadway soundtrack for Hairspray, it's all I listen to.
I voted even though I never heard back from my MP about the gay thing. Politics is driving me crazy. I think I need to run, I'm the only person who I can trust. The NDP is now promising a price freeze on transit, which I like and the Conservatives cut funding for harm-reduction strategies like needle clinics, which I'm not in favour of. On the other hand, do I really want a shooting gallery in my neighborhood? It's all so complicated. Actually I'm not going to run, I don't want to have to make these decisions.
Whenever I get back from a vacation, the first thing people ask is where I'm going next. All I know for sure is I want to go to Baltimore next year, I'll wait and see where the off-season baseball trades take me otherwise, and I may do Europe again in the spring, I'm thinking Germany. For right now I have Doctor Who figures to buy and books from Amazon. Oh and the hydro bill.
Coming up this week I'm going to my parents for Thanksgiving. Next week I have the Arthouse Cabaret, two days of training (ugh!), Steers and Queers and Cats. Oh and the Sound of Music is coming to the theatre in Toronto. How many times will I go? 1,000?