Monday, July 30, 2007

Solicitation


I have been solicited. Every minute it seems. And for things I don’t want and would never buy. Chicken burritos at the Baseball game? Ok. Colon cleansers in my email? Not so much.

Who the Hell believes they can lose 20 pounds from LAST week by shoving water up their ass? So much so that they need to send away for the applicator? Are there this many idiots?Every day on the way to and from work, I get asked to buy the Globe and Mail, for change for a sandwich, to support Black History causes, and finally to work out at the No Sweat gym. Every day, the same people. It could become a sitcom, I’ll go “Hi, Sue” and Sue will reply “Morning Adam!”

When I get home I have at least 5 flyers a night. I put a note on my mailbox saying “No flyers please”. It lasted one day. The next day, flyers! It’s like Kramer and the post office from Seinfeld, I’m going to have to brick it up.

Then I get in, check my phone messages, always at least one. Mary-Ellen from the Moving Company has called me once a week since I moved in asking if I was ready to move yet. I wonder if she’s really my next door neighbour trying to give me a hint. Another popular one I get because I live in a good neighbourhood is people trying to sell my home on T.V. My bachelor apartment with cat should get quite the price.

Finally I check my email. In addition to the colon cleanser one above, I get email, and calls, and passenger pigeons from the NDP. I joined them 3 years ago and gave them $10. They will never stop.

But I do fight back! (Not that it makes the slightest difference.)

For the NDP, I sent them an email saying if they ever contact me again I will never vote for their party again, and I mean it. I’m done. When the election starts they will send groups of people to my house, it will be like Woodstock. Well, not this time sister!

I called the moving company back yesterday 12 times, once for every time they’ve called me, to advise them that I still am not ready. To the colon cleanser e-mailer, I left a message “I hope when you die and go to Heaven, Saint Peter looks at your life, sees you sent this email, and sends you to Hell.”

I’m on the CMA’s DO NOT CONTACT list, are we really all this helpless?

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Simpsons movie review *NO SPOLIERS*

I've seen the reviews, in Entertainment Weekly, CNN, the star, all positive. I've been hearing about it for months and months. And today I went to see the Simpsons Movie. And honestly it was one of the worst I've ever seen. I asked my friend what he thought of the movie when we left, he said "It was good, it could have been great." And therein lies the problem, no one will ever call this movie great.

The best thing about the Simpsons for me is the ability to watch it, zone out for a while and move on. There were a couple of deeper episodes, like the one with the comet heading for Springfield and the shelter, but they weren't heavy handed. This whole movie felt like an extended episode, from the current season, not the good ones, with all the bad parts of the South Park movie thrown in. Don't read past this point if you want to know NOTHING about the movie, very minor spoilers ahead.

Do we need the cheese? Do we need to have swells of emotion and questions of identity? It was very after school special, none of the jokes stand out in my mind right now as being especially funny. The ads tell it all really. Come explore the depths of Homer and Marge's relationship, which no ones wants to do. See Bart look to Flanders as a father figure questioning his identity - a plot that is resolved with 5 words. It was bad. None of the social commentary from the show. The special guest celebrity they're hyping? Tom Hanks - who cares? Terrible.

I Laughed All The Way To The Bank

So I stupidly agreed to go to this Comedy Street Festival downtown last night. I said I would meet my friends at 6:30 on the corner of Yonge & Dundas. I get there, look at my watch, 6:29 and 30 seconds, no friends. I spent half an hour looking for them. When I got there this was the crowd:

Like 5,000 people. I spent about half an hour pushing people aside, they totally weren't there. I got distracted by this cute boy who was swinging around a Darth Maul light saber thing. Stupid mike stand was in the way.

Then I continued looking. These people were a nice distraction:

Finally the time came for the show and this was the closest I could get:

So I went home. On the way I made a friend. Some lady yelled at me to not ride my bike on the sidewalk - I was turning the corner onto my street - so I followed her and yelled at her and she called me a wiener. You know sometimes a kind word from a stranger like that makes my day.

I then played The Sims 2 for 6 hours and went to bed. This guy on this gay message board was asking people if they had mostly gay families in their game. First guy says, "About half and half". Second guy says, "I turn all my sims gay. Even the children are gay. If any girls are born, they are just thrown into the pool and then I erase the ladder." Too funny.

Today the Simpsons Movie at 2:40.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Grudge

I have been wronged in my life.

I got a facebook message from my father, asking me to a Blue Jays game. I haven't spoken to him in a long time, years.

Today my brother cancelled on a trip I had planned for us, I have invested lots of time and money already.

So my question is, how long do you hold a grudge? And who does it hurt when you do?

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Oh happy day!

Well two things went right today. First when I got to work I found the Dr Who Dalek Battle Pack set I ordered in like April. Yahoo! They're very cool, easily the best figures I have. The remote is similar to that of K-9 but the figures talk, not the remote control. You can also play a cool mini game with them where they have a sensor in their head and you have to shoot each other 3 times, then you die. I'm pretty useless on the remote and no one would play with me in 1,000,000 years but it's cool nonetheless.

The negative thing is they never shut up, their vocabulary is smaller than K-9's and the black Dalek uses the same frequency as K-9 so you can't use them together. But the remote is smaller and they came with a Cyberleader so I'm still good.

Also as you might be able to tell from the above, I got my camera back! That was super fast and in time for my vacation. I'd suggest buying one, Samsung, 1 year warranty and they said they replaced the whole flash mechanism, all for free. Here's some pics of my cat Diane.


Also who the Hell are the 651 people who have read this blog? I want names.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Top 5 men

AfterElton posted their list of the top 100 gay men's men, or whatever you want to call it. Hotties? So I thought I'd post mine, along with a nice picture of each. The funny thing about the AfterElton list is anyone who is or may be in the closet is totally on the list. I'm prefectly fine with Gylen-hoe being #1. Heath was hotter in Brokeback, but Jake was hotter in life.
The other problem with their list is no porn stars, and no Mr. Radcliffe.

#1 - Daniel Radcliffe: He's currently my fav as I went to see him, when I think of him I remember my trip to England, he's doing fun stupid photo shoots, right now he's all that and a bag of crisps.

#2 - Brent Corrigan: If you check out his wikipedia entry, there's an interesting story there. He's been taken advantage of a lot, worked in porn before he was 18 (a la Traci Lords) and never quite got a break. Currently he's working at some shop. He and Lukas Ridgeston both have faces that should be on money, Lukas made like 5 movies, retired and lives well. Brent stocks shelves. But the fact that a used pair of his underwear sells for $1,500 should tell you, he's still top shelf.... for now. Someone get him filming porn 24-7!

#3 - John Caffrey: I love his songs, his music, his body, his energy, he's a super nice guy. If he did porn he would be at number 2.

#4 - John Barrowman: My only choice that was also on the AfterElton list (#10). I really like him, he's gay, he stars in a Doctor Who spin-off. The only problem lately is he's on TV so much he's starting to feel like a used car salesman. And I don't even live in that country.

#5 - Gareth Gates: A bit of a hold over from days gone by, but he's so down to earth, he has a great smile and voice, he had a terrible stutter he got over..... He's got to stay on the list. Oh, and did I mention I could have been at this groping Gareth concert?

Honourable mention: Randy Orton. Look at his body. 'Nuff said.

When it rains, it pours.

3 posts today, can you tell I haven't left the house since Friday night? I don't care if I'm dead, I'm going to work tomorrow.

I got sent this great article from the Star but they archive stuff for about 5 minutes so I wanted to copy it here so I could find it again.

There were a couple links of interest, this one former major-leaguer CJ Nitkowski’s highly entertaining blog details his new life playing with Japan’s Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks. Whether it’s eating Shabu-Shabu for the first time or going grocery shopping: “Most of the time I don’t even know what I am looking at. What I do know is that never in my life have I ever seen small dried-up fish in a clear plastic bag. Not before today, that is.”

Then the guy the article is about has his page here.

And the article itself:

Twins hurler Neshek leading a double life
Internet-savvy reliever has thriving website for collectors and fans
July 23, 2007

The letters, like the emails and packages with baseballs and photos, pour in daily.

Then there are cards to mail out, items to sign, a blog to update, and a message board to moderate.

Being the boss of a small online empire is a demanding job. Especially when after work, you have to pitch to Sammy Sosa with the game on the line.

Such is life for Internet impresario Pat Neshek, who works almost as hard at his hobby as he does his paid profession — relief pitcher with the Minnesota Twins.

"I always wanted to know what pro athletes did before games, on off days and in their spare time so I said if I ever got drafted I would start a website," says Neshek via email his preferred mode of communication.

The reliever's site — On The Road with Pat Neshek — started in 2004 when he was in the minors and features one of his favourite pursuits: collecting sports memorabilia.

"One of these days though, I might have to look into insuring (my cards)," says the right-hander, adding to his lengthy to-do list.

He updates his blog regularly, often lamenting his internet connection on the road.

Read the site and you'll learn tonight's trip to the Rogers Centre with the Twins will be his first since arriving in the majors last year.

On his message board you can find threads that include blogs from former Twin and current Jays farmhand Mike Venafro (who posts as happylefty) and the Twins’ 18-year-old batboy, Adam Hanson (twinsbb17).

The majority of Neshek's posts deal honestly with the minutiae of his life in the majors — the gruelling schedule, a packed subway ride to Shea Stadium and how his family will room with him on the road if they can find cheap airfare to wherever he's playing.

It's not exactly a life of caviar and Cristal — and that's a large part of Neshek's charm.

"He just seems like me, except that he can throw 90 miles an hour," says fan and fellow card collector Dan Rosendahl, 33, who has been following the site since 2004 from his home in Denton, Tex.

Neshek's an average Joe who still, in the off-season, will hang out at Minnesota Wild games to collect autographs from hockey players.

"I thought (Pittsburgh Penguin) Georges Laraque was being rude one time because he signed my card and only put his initials," says Neshek. "He did it for every other collector there (and) we were all mad. Turns out that is how he signs every time, he stops, takes his time and signs every card the same way."

His passion for sports is refreshing. Unlike Barry Bonds or Curt Schilling, who use the Internet to sidestep the media, Neshek appears sincere.

"I really don't know how to describe this but I'm the fan/collector/guy that somehow managed to get to the big leagues," writes Neshek on his blog.

He has used the Internet to his advantage. When nominated for the major league All-Star Game Final Vote, the sidearm hurler put out a call to the Neshek Nation and fans rallied around the "Pitch in for Pat" campaign, though he eventually lost to Boston's Hideki Okajima.

The 26-year-old has also turned his site into a barter-based cottage industry of collectables.

"(Send) any signed hockey card or baseball player card with (a self addressed stamped envelope) to me and I will put one of my signed cards in," says Neshek.

And though Neshek prefers cards of the sporting variety, he’s open to accept anything.

"Someone from Manitoba sent me a 1970's Village People card signed by a couple of the members, that made me laugh," says Neshek. "You see a lot of different things, old baseball players that are hard to find, hockey players that are deceased — you never know what is going to come in."

He says he gets more mail than anyone else on the Twins and it usually takes an hour or two to sift through it, but it’s an adventure, like the time someone mysterious sent him a microchip without explanation.

"Didn’t know what it was or if it was a tracking device so I tossed it in the garbage," says Neshek. The Brooklyn Park, Minn., native says he's 'lost count' of how many cards he has with many of his new trades going into a box until he can catalogue them in the off-season.

All of which are currently uninsured.

"If they were all lost to a fire tomorrow I would start up a new collection," says Neshek. "It's more about the thrill than the value to me."

And this side post, which I liked better than the article:

TALK TO ME

Minnesota Twins pitcher Pat Neshek has turned his popular website On The Road With Pat Neshek (www.patneshek.com) into another avenue to add to his mounting card collection.
Send him an autograph card with a self addressed stamped envelop and he’ll send you one of his own autographed back. All his trades are done on a strictly barter basis, no money is exchanged. Since collecting autographs is part of his hobby, Neshek also spends his downtime in the off-season "hunting" signatures from fellow athletes.
The Star's Sunaya Sapurji picked the reliever's brain about his vast card collection and his tricks of the trade:

Q: Will you collect any trading card (eg. Desert Storm card set) or does it have to be sports related?
A. To tell you the truth I like hockey and baseball the best but if it's an oddball signed card like Desert Storm, I get a kick out of it.
Q: So how do you catalog your cards?
A. I use to put them all in a-z order and did until this season has started. Right now everything that isn't cataloged is in a box waiting for the off-season and it drives me nuts...I think I have obsessive compulsive disorder about it.
Q. Do you have one card that you consider your prized possession?
A. Not really, I have a lot of stuff. My motto is quantity over quality in the world of autographing! One of my favs is (once) I wrote to Hank Aaron for a signed card, sent it to his home (address) in 4th grade and got it back signed in 7th grade. I totally forgot what I sent him.
Q. Do you ever eat the gum (in card packs) that tastes like sawdust?
A. If it's older than 6 months it's going to disintegrate in seconds... don't eat it.
Q. What do you do with your doubles?
A. Keep 'em, quantity is king.
Q. What are your thoughts are on the emotional attachments people make while collecting autographs. I mean, it's more than just a signature – a lot of times it's the story of how you got the autograph that gives it value.
A. That's what I always liked about autographs, it's a hunt. You go out and know you might not get one guy to sign but you know there will be a story that you'll never forget. It's a fun way to kill time and hangout and forget about everything for a couple hours. Plus you might get the big star to sign something for you, it's a win-win situation.
Q. Is there any player who flat out said "No"?
A. There are a few, for some reason Paul Kariya seems to be the toughest guy lately.
Q. Has your view of card collecting/autographed hunting changed since becoming a pro athlete?
A: Nope, it just kind of showed me that athletes are in a rush sometimes and can't please everyone all the time.
Q. What are some of the most important tools needed to be a top notch ’grapher?
A. Info, being able to recognize faces, being able to know where to get a player.
Q. Has anyone ever recognized you during an autograph hunt?
A. Not really, a couple people did double takes last year.
Q. You posted a really funny letter once on the site from a guy who wanted 10 baseballs signed and inscribed by (Justin) Morneau and (Joe) Mauer to give to his wedding party ... do you get requests like this often?
A. I get about up to 5 of these request a week...I don't blame people for trying but it's a tired act.
Q. What's the most inappropriate place someone has asked you for an autograph? Are there unwritten rules to follow?
A. Lots of unwritten rules, we don't sign DURING games. A lot of times I get in a hurry and have to be at the field and am late so I might not being able to sign. If you are honest with the collectors than they usually can understand why you can't sign. They hate it when you use the same excuse everyday.

Best in torrents this week

Well, I love the torrents so I thought I'd post a weekly best of, kind of what I'm watching and into. All links I post I'll try to find off public sites so you shouldn't need a registration to download, a * indicates you do need to.

Books

Like there was another book released this week. The new Harry Potter was great, this version has less spelling mistakes than the other (I still haven't picked up my amazon.ca copy from the post-office)

Music
The Friday Night Lights TV soundtrack was released today. (Can't find the blasted thing) Also Prince's "Planet Earth".

TV
A new ESPN show, the Bronx Is Burning looks great, there aren't enough baseball shows. Victoria Beckham: Coming to America was a lot better than I thought it would be, and her husband is "the hottest man alive". Major! Channel 4 in England is doing a special week of programming to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the de-criminalization of homosexuality, starting with A Very British Sex Scandal.* Also Scott Baio is 45 and Single and Rupert Everett hosted The Friday Night Project.

MoviesA decent cam of Hairspray was posted, I hope to watch it today. A DVD rip of Disturbia is up too, a pretty good movie.

Porn7.7 Gigs of Jeremy Jordan porn!*

The Secret of Life

Well, there used to be some doubt (although not much) that I would die of using too much salt. Now it's official. Check out Bacon Salt. Some will be arriving in 1 to 3 weeks. Bacon and salt are like my 2 favourite things. I anticipate carrying this with me everywhere I go, adding it to gum, water, anything I can. Their email is passthebacon@baconsalt.com and their website includes a link to the Bacon of the Month Club. Have I actually died and gone to heaven?

Speaking of death, I was sick on Monday and couldn't go to work. Then Monday night I started reading the new Harry Potter and since I couldn't sleep anyway, I thought I'd just keep reading. At five thirty I finished. It was very good, and the end was impossible to put down. So one more day off, my first of 2007 actually.

And finally, this U.S. website I visit daily has gone nuts now that Mr. Radcliffe is 18. You weren't allowed to post pics of him before and in their haste, they have posted the first legal pic of Dan. I would have waited another couple days....

Friday, July 20, 2007

Expect great things

Well, my camera is in the shop so expect many great pictures in the near future. I'm trying to work out how best to fill the void here, I figure porn is a surefire hit. I have the perfect picture of a naked lady in mind but finding her is proving difficult. How the heck do straight people surf for porn? Thousands of pop-ups are driving me mad.

I had a dream two nights ago, I don't remember many details but I was having sex with Neil Patrick Harris. I've never been into him so it's a bit strange.
The Braves had Brian McCann statue night and I've got my ebay bid in, wish me luck.
I'm reading a typed-out version of the Harry Potter book, and it's got many spelling mistakes. "Harry shit the door" was the best.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Special Harry Potter update!

The last book has been posted here and finally a decent, not great, copy of the movie has been posted here. (You might want to wait for more seeders)
Neither is perfect but any port in a storm.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Stupid technology! (shakes stick)

OK so my camera is not working. I was hoping it would stop working 3 weeks before my $4,000 Chicago vacation and my dreams have come true.
Here is me in my drape outfit:
See the problem with this is I felt like I was wearing the drapes all day.

The Inapropriate Daniel Radcliffe Crush Quiz mentioned a picture of Dan at your office cubicle, here's mine:
Had dinner with Dan, here he is on my bike:
The blasted camera won't focus, the movies crash my computer, I need to blow the thing up really. Anyway we went for Chicken Wings at Duffs and I had some allergic reaction which almost killed me. This is great as they are my favourite, dreams come true again!

On the way back we walked through a park and saw these four guys playing polo on bicycles, 2 were in 1800's period costume with top hats and the other 2 were dressed currently. Why? I don't know. My camera went out of focus of course but trust me, Abe Lincoln time.
Then we met the Brazilian football team and asked to take their picture. I'm going to try to post the video one more time, then I am going to rip out all my hair. That shouldn't take long.
video
Finally when I got home, a new Dr Who in glasses was waiting for me. There's apparently a special edition one where he has 3-D glasses but if I go to the bother of finding it and hyperlinking it I'll buy it. You must check this out, some British kid playing with his action figures. I wonder if he wants to have a play date.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Toronto Islands

I went to the Toronto Islands today with my friend Jay, here he is eating a sandwich.

There was a lot of cool scenery and you could see the Leslie Street spit across the way, FILLED with birds.


Took him to the crayfish pond.

We went to the nude beach. I always feel pressure to get nude there. On the way I thought there was no way I would, but then of course I did. There was a cute guy there, although to be honest he doesn't look so hot in the pictures, but I had to get him when he was turned away and he had a nice face. He was kind of looking at me, but I assume its because I was the only one under 100 on a Monday afternoon.

There was a cool Hanlan's Point statue.


Finally we get to the pictures of me.

There seems to be 2 options for people who are not a size 2, which it is becoming apparent I am not.

Option 1 is the tight look, where you wear something tight and everyone can see your terrible figure. I've been doing this one as it's easiest, I hate shopping and this look involves wearing all the same clothes you got in high school, and ignoring the rips and strains. Option 2 is the loose look, where you buy something dark which will create kind of a drape effect and everyone gets to guess how fat you really are. I wanted a choice so I went shopping on the way home. Pictures of Yonge/Dundas square in renovation.


I hate shopping as some cute 17 year old boy comes over and goes "Can I help you find a size?" And the whole time I'm frantically routing through the pile of size 29s thinking "if I have to tell this guy my waist size I am going to burst into flames". So tomorrow I'm going to be wearing the drape look, I'll try and get someone to take my picture.

Dinner with a cute boy at Duff's tomorrow, who apparently reads my blog so I can say no more! I got home at 5, had a nap and now it's 9:30. I will never get to sleep.

Oh yes, someone told me there is an itunes application on facebook that I haven't bothered to try to find. If someone knows it, hook me up, eh?
My top 5 itunes songs today are:
1. Paul McCartney - Scissor Sisters
2. Love's Divine (Passengerz Remix) - Seal
3. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
4. You Keep Me Hanging On - Blake Lewis
5. The Long Way Around - Dixie Chicks
Why these songs, who knows. I can't even remember how the number one song goes, stupid program.....

Gentleman Reg sings at the Drake

I went to the Gentleman Reg concert at the Drake yesterday.

To be honest, he's been better. He was kind of weak, didn't sing any upbeat songs. Didn't even sing his most famous "The Boyfriend Song". Oh well, it was free, you get what you pay for.
He was in the light and I couldn't take any good shots so I took this video instead: (I have tried for like an hour to post this stupid video. Won't work. Get it here.)

The opening act, some guy named Andre was really good.

Afterwards I saw this lady in a wedding gown, and this weird deer picture, both looked like something out of Doctor Who.


My cat is playing with the corn. Why can't she leave the fresh produce alone? Off to the Islands.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Oh dear

Check out the Inappropriate Crush Quiz #1: Daniel Radcliffe edition. It's like they have spy cameras on me. Even down to the picture in my cubicle at work.

Sweet! I've been trying for a year to get on Uk Nova, they just re-did their site and let people in. It's the web's best source for UK torrents. Hurry.

Steps to looking and feeling good:

#1 - Do not eat half a Dufflet tart for dinner.
That is all.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Title is back!

I finished the Tardis. Yahoo! I found a review of it on the internet too. And a video. You can't really tell but the middle column lights up and moves.




I had decided I would not order any more toys, other than the spacesuit doctor I already pre-ordered, then they announce the spacesuit doctor will be part of a special Satan Pit set, and a new addition to the Tardis playset. I am destined to be poor.

In other news, I saw the new Harry Potter tonight, best movie yet. Daniel Radcliffe looks good, a little skinny, ever since I flew around the world to see him I feel a bond with him now. The other movies were all mini stories, this one you can tell is the set up for a big final battle, an epic feeling, amazing.