Sunday, September 16, 2007

Bi Bash/Aids Walk

If the religious right is correct and I am going to Hell, every night will be the Bi Bash.
It was death. I got there with my mom and friends at 8, the place was full, we were the last people allowed in it was so full. I couldn't believe it, we were standing in the hallway and it was hotter than Hell.
The show opened with a woman singing 3 songs about her vagina and playing a guitar. Then there was a spoken word segment where a 300 lb. bull dyke talked for 20 minutes about being whipped and waiting for a bus. Then a trans person (what sex to what I have no idea) got up and lip synced to a Bing Crosby song while caressing members of the audience. This person was about 50 with fire red hair and the looks of a bridge troll. No one wanted to be groped by it. Luckily I was in the hallway.
The high point of the night was the stripping nun:

She had the body of a 10 year crack whore but she ended up in pasties and danced to Any Winehouse "You know I'm no good" so it was decent.
Then there was "Gothercize" where this guy:

came out and talked for 20 minutes about the problems of being goth while taking sips of his sherry and pretending to smoke a clove cigarette. Seriously.
Finally (for me) they announced some guy was going to read from a Guide to Being Bisexual but something happened on the way to the podium and a woman came out. At least I think it was a woman. I'm not sure if it even knew for sure. When he got to the part where he was reading out, alphabetically, the top 50 movies every bisexual should see I was out the door.
They are re-doing the Steers and Queers event on October 11, 2007 and I HIGHLY suggest everyone go to that. No odes to my vagina, just dancing and stripping and drag and fun.
Today I went to the AIDS walk with my mom. It was fun except they ran out of t-shirts. They give t-shirts to anyone who raised over $100, we raised over $650, no t-shirt. That sucked.
The walk was supposed to be shortened but it took over an hour and at the end I felt like I was dead so not so much shorter. The high-point was the warm up before the walk with mayor David Miller in a suit doing the disco boogie on the stage. The guys who led the warm up were from Eclipse Fitness and were awesome. I'm gonna check out their gym and see if I can get in one of their classes, I think it would be fun.
After the walk we went for lunch at Fran's. Just before they brought me my soup I saw a cockroach crawl across the seat and instantly lost my appetite. Then on the bill they charged my mom for a bagel and cream cheese when she had a plain bagel. The waitress said it was the same price either way, I said $3.00 is a lot for a plain bagel, she said the wasn't Tim Hortons, I decided never to return.
So the best part of the weekend was the walk today and yesterday we spent the day shopping and having lunch at the Lettuce Eatery. That was fun too. I don't want to go to work tomorrow, anyone wanna go for me?
Oh and the Liberals came by while I was out today, I emailed them this:
I am now 28 and have voted for the NDP every election since
I turned 18. I will not be voting for them this election
and I am considering voting Liberal for the first time.
I am facing a roadblock that I need your help with.  After
promising no new taxes in the last election, last year alone
I paid $900 in health care premium, that's about 4% of my
take home pay, the largest tax increase in Ontario history.
I need to know how you can justify this, what has this money
done that was not being done before and why this step was
absolutely necessary.  Because that money to me is necessary
and I can't get over losing it.  Thanks.

1 comment:

Danny T said...

Why didn't you tell me there was a stripping crack whore/nun? I would have been so there!!

That dude that's gothercizing umm.... I am taking that he is not on crack....because he's a pig....coated in butter.......that's fat!

And finally, why would the Liberals need to answer you when you have already told them that they had you at "Hello"!