How to Torrent/What's new this week

Ok so did I go clothes shopping today or did I sit around the house all day feeling sorry for myself and watching reality television, drinking mocha lattes from the Starbucks across the street? Clothes shopping is depressing anyway, I believe I mentioned that before.

Also my front tooth just broke again for like the 115th time so I have to go to the dentist before Chicago. My nightmare is that I have to find a dentist while on vacation. I'm sure it will happen some day.

I have had lots, at least 3, people ask me how to download tv shows and movies off the internet. I looked up different guides and they were all too technical.

You need 2 things to download a torrent (this is what the movie or tv or CD file is called). You need a program to run that does the actual downloading. The most popular and best right now is utorrent. Just click the link above here and download and run the program.

Now the second thing you need is something to download. For this you need to go on the internet and search torrent sites. The easiest is the free torrent sites. The best are mininova and btjunkie. You can download as much as you want (leech) and never have to give back (seed). So click on one of those links, search for what you want, click it, it opens in utorrent and you wait. If it's a popular new movie it may take an hour. If it's a full season of an obscure tv show it may take a week or two.

The second class of torrent sites are the best and also free, but there's a catch. These involve a community where you're expected to give as much as you take. These places have the fastest download speeds and the newest stuff but if you don't give back as much as you take they'll kick you off. The best of these is demonoid, next is revolutiontt, for British stuff its uknova and then the box, for gay stuff its gay torrents, gay torrent news and then gay torrents.ru. There's another 2 catches to these sites. Often they are full and you'll have to check back several times to their registration pages to check if they're accepting new members. The other is you have the ability to download (leech) at 500 kBs and the ability to upload (seed) at 80 kBs so if you're caught short on your uploading you may have to pay to avoid getting kicked off. I usually pay about $5 a month which is worth it for stuff in theatres the day after it's released.

I hope this was clear. Basically download utorrent, search for a torrent, click it and wait. Then play the file. To play the file you can watch it on your computer (I bought a giant screen), burn it to DVD the way it is and play it on a DIVX compatible player, plug a jump drive with the file into your PS3 or convert it using Nero (a program that can also be torrented) and put it on a DVD playable in any DVD player. Nero takes the longest and to me is too much of a pain in the ass. I mainly use it to deliver DVD's of Mad About You to my mom.

Ok so what's hot in torrents this week?

TV
Season 4 of Party of Five, never been released on DVD. Where's season 3? Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List seasons 1, 2 and 3. Season (and hopefully series) finale of the Paula Abdul show Hey Paula. The only episode of Today's Special I actually remember.

Movies
A DVD quality version of the Simpsons Movie. An R5 (Russian) 28 Weeks Later. R5's are totally amazing quality, next to DVD, with occasional annoying Russian subtitles. An Andy Warhol art film Flesh.

Porn
I've been waiting about 6 months for Juiced: The Need to Breed. I almost bought it at about $70 US so I'm glad it finally came out.

*NEW SECTION* Torrents I'm Waiting For
I've always wanted to see Rescue From Gilligan's Island (how the Hell do they get off the damn island?). The Golden Girls spin-off Golden Palace. Party of Five season 3. Chad Hunt in Bondo Gods 6 (I quote "I ran out of rope tying up his cock").